


Fight so dirty, but your love's so sweet

by SammyPanda



Category: Kingsman (Movies), RocknRolla (2008)
Genre: Crossover, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Strong Language, The non-con appears in a later chapter, Undercover, Undercover Missions, Violence, but only slightly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:21:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22993132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SammyPanda/pseuds/SammyPanda
Summary: It had never crossed his mind that he would have to go down this path ever again, and yet, here he was, about to walk it.Merlin has to go back undercover as Archy, reliving the toughest mission he's ever done.
Relationships: Archy/Johnny Quid, Merlin/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Comments: 28
Kudos: 19





	1. Regrets collect like old friends

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I am back by popular demand (literally no one asked for this). 
> 
> I read a fic a while back (and by a while, I mean a while) with this particular crossover and then this fic started to take root, and here we are, about a year later, still not finished. I’ve decided to post the first ten chapters, as I work on completing this mess.
> 
> For the whole fic there’s a warning for strong language (people be cursing) and per chapter I will add several warnings. I do highly recommend you watch RocknRolla before reading this fic, if you wanna know the characters.
> 
> As for the chapter titles.. I had this stupid idea to give every chapter a song lyric as a title (I know, cue the cringe) and in the end notes I’ll tell you which song it was (all though, most are pretty mainstream)
> 
> Anywho, I hope you guys enjoy it (I know I don’t) and let us hope I find the inspiration to finish this (just like all my other WIPs)

Chester King had been an asshole. And he had been Arthur for a _long_ time.

Merlin had worked a total of four missions in the field for him. Three had taken from no more than a few hours to a few days. Standard, really. One however, had taken up almost 20 years of his life. One had broken him in more ways than he could say. One would, when he’s had a really bad day, sometimes still haunt his dreams. He'd put it behind him, for the most part and had pushed himself fully into being Merlin. Until today it seemed.

In the months following V-Day a lot had shifted within Kingsman. Harry had made a miraculous resurrection, having had help from 'friends overseas' - or so he’d said - and had taken the chair of Arthur, rebuilding the table and getting the world back in order.

Roxy had been officially knighted Lancelot and Eggsy had received Harry's old mantle and was knighted Galahad. Both fine additions to the table.

Six months in and things were finally settling. Merlin had reconnected with the agents around the world - the ones still alive - and everything seemed to be running quite smoothly. Things were hectic, yes, but not so much they couldn’t handle it. He obviously wasn’t the only employee in the tech department, but he prided himself in being one of the best. Harry, as Arthur, had promoted him to head of the department, _and_ head of operations, overseeing the handling of the field agents. He had been given a grand office, which he’d sparsely decorated with a desk, a few comfy chairs and a sofa, and his name in beautiful golden letters on the door. He was quite honoured, actually.

Everyone had been very busy, getting into their new roles and all, but Harry and Merlin usually had time to have a cup of tea together once a week. But seeing as they had that cup _yesterday_ , having Harry in his office _today_ had Merlin on alert. And the fact that the man had come in, but not sit down yet, had Merlin nervous. He motioned for Harry to take a seat and the man did, slowly, crossing his legs carefully.

"Hamish..." Harry started slowly, cautiously, and Merlin knew it was really bad. Harry hardly ever used his given name, and certainly not at work and _certainly_ not in that tone.

"Harry..." Merlin replied, carefully. Harry looked away for a moment before seemingly steeling himself and he sat up a little straighter as he looked back at Merlin.

"There has been some… unsavoury activity in London these past few months. Some old gang resurfacing and leaving a trail of somewhat devastation in their wake. I was going to put Galahad on it, but as I looked up information on it, it seemed we’ve already _had_ a mission with this particular organisation. Or should I say _you_ did.... "

Harry had started strong but had tapered off towards the end, not quite finishing his story. Merlin could feel his blood run cold and he was sure it was written all over his face. ‘ _No_ ’.

“Twenty years ago you had a mission..-” Harry continued.

“No”

Harry’s eyes widened slightly whereas Merlin’s eyes had hardened and a frown was set deep in his eyebrows.

“You don’t even know..-” Harry started.

“No, I _do_ know” Merlin grumbled, before taking a breath. Getting angry now would not be productive.

“I’ve known you for a long time, Harry. I _know_ what yer going to say” Merlin sighed as he rubbed his brow before looking up at Harry. The man was looking at him, his usually stoic face showing traces of sympathy.

“You never told me about it”

And he hadn’t. Harry knew of course that Merlin had had a long mission. They hadn’t seen each other for twenty years, and they’d spoken on the phone a handful of times during that time. Less towards the end, until all communications had stopped. And when Merlin had returned, _changed_ of course, it took a while before they had reconnected. It had been a very difficult time for Merlin, and he was sure for Harry as well. Harry had asked, many times, for Merlin to tell him about the mission, or as much as he could, but Merlin couldn’t. Couldn’t tell his friend all the horrid things he’d done, or how much he’d enjoyed doing them.

“Something tells me yer gonna find out soon enough?” Merlin asked somewhat resigned, knowing what his friend, _and_ boss, was going to ask of him, and not sure if he could say no to him.

“I _am_ terribly sorry. I know how much that mission took of you, and now I’m asking you to do it again” Harry said

Merlin _had_ been expecting this, but hearing Harry say it out loud still filled him with dread.

“I was thinking we could see if you could retake your position within the organisation” Harry suggested and Merlin could do nothing but stare at Harry. He wanted him to resume his position within the organisation. Really wanted to revisit the darkest days of his life. Harry _thought_ he knew, but he didn’t.

"Hamish?" Harry sounded worried.

“I was right-hand man to Lenny Cole, he’s no longer in the picture” Harry’s eyebrows furrowed at that.

“I was going to ask about that, what happened to him? Did we relocate him? The file wasn’t particularly clear on that” Harry replies as he flicks through the file in his hand. Merlin hadn’t even noticed it.

“He’s no longer in the picture” Merlin replies, wanting this part of the conversation to be over.

“Yes, you said that, but wh..-”

“Harry” Merlin interrupted him, voice clipped, and Harry looked at him again with wide eyes.

“The man is no longer in the picture” Merlin stated very slowly, and very clearly, willing Harry to drop it. Harry looked at him in silence for a moment.

“Well someone has to be in charge. Says here a Mr Johnny Quid?” Harry read from the file and looked up at Merlin, with a questioning look.

“Lenny’s kid. Or step-kid really. Trouble maker” Merlin said, remembering the boy he didn’t want to remember.

“Makes sense” Harry mumbled “You know the boy well?”

“Been in his life for 20 years, so I would say, yes. I was ‘Uncle Archy’ to him” Merlin says with a sort of shrug, a half distant look in his eyes. Harry looked at him again, searching his face for something, and Merlin has a hard time meeting his eyes. Harry is good at finding out secrets, and there are a lot of secrets from this mission that Merlin _doesn’t_ want found out.

“Hamish?” Harry asks then and there is a sort of suggestion in his voice that has Merlin look up, a guarded look on his face.

“I can try and get in good with him. See if I can be of service like I did his father” Merlin answers, willing Harry’s imploring look away.

“So you’ll do it?” Harry asks hopeful.

“I don’t have much of a choice, do I?” Merlin answers resigned, as he rubs his brow again. He hasn’t even started the mission and it's already giving him a headache.


	2. Everybody knows that the dice are loaded

He still didn't know why, but he had agreed to take the mission. Harry, as Arthur, had called both Eggsy and Merlin in for the official briefing the next day, and Merlin was nervous. He had a thing for the younger man, had for some time now, and for some reason him finding out about this part of his past didn't feel right. Merlin knew he'd never have a chance with the boy, not romantically, but he did want to stay in his life as they were now, as friends. But this could make Eggsy see him in a different light. A bad light.

Merlin had arrived early to the briefing, having a cup of tea with Harry to calm his nerves.

"The boy is a professional, Ha..- Merlin, he knows that missions sometimes ask certain things from certain people, but that doesn't mean that's _who_ you are"

"But it _is_ who I am, because I _was_ him for 20 years. And 20 years is a _long_ time. Especially the four years I spend in jail" Merlin tells him, a desperate tinge to his voice.

Harry was about to retort when Eggsy walked in, looking flawless in his suit.

"Shit, am I late?" he was, usually, very professional and he had left his accent behind a long time ago. But sometimes, a little of his old self _and_ his youth would shine through.

"No, you're right on time actually. We were just having a cup of tea" Harry said, a smile on his face. Relief came over Eggsy's face as he took the seat opposite Merlin and for some reason Merlin couldn't look at him. Harry cleared his throat.

"So, I have a new mission for you" he began.

"Yes, Harry. Finally" Eggsy sighed. He hadn't been on a mission for a few weeks and the boy had a hard time sitting around. Merlin had seen him walk around the compound looking for odd jobs to do in various departments. It had been quite endearing.

"I'm glad you're excited to go out into the field, Galahad, but this mission will be very different from the ones you've already done for us" Harry said, and he and Merlin made eye contact before Harry turned to Eggsy again.

"This mission is about an organisation. For 30 years or so they have been operative in London, quite busily and quite successful. Various groups and other organisations had tried to take them down, quite _un_ successful, so Kingsman put one of their agents in the organisation to gather intelligence and to try to topple it from the _inside_. This agent became fast friends with the head of the organisation and through this agent's good work, Kingsman was able to roll up the organisation" Harry had chosen his wording carefully, and while Merlin was grateful for the kind words, it still wouldn't do much for his nerves.

"Okay...." Eggsy seemed lost. Merlin would be too.

"This agent had been undercover with the organisation for 20 years" Harry dropped that bit of information as though it was nothing.

"Fuck me! 20 years?! Jesus" Eggsy’s eyebrows had shot up into his hairline and his mouth had fallen open. If the situation hadn't been so stressful it would have been quite comical.

"During these 20 years, that agent has had to do a lot of… illegal things. Several things you wouldn’t ask of another human, and several things you wouldn’t _wish_ upon another human" Harry continued carefully.

"Fuck that must have been hard. Can't imagine the agent came out of tha' in one piece" Eggsy lamented, looking sympathetic.

Harry cast a quick glance at Merlin before continuing.

"As I understand it, it was _very_ difficult for the agent. But what's worse is that the organisation has resurfaced. In the last months they’ve regained most of their hold on the city, much as they had so many years ago. So we’ve decided we want to put the agent back under with the organisation, try and see if he can resume his old post"

"You're fucking mental! There's no way he'd do that!" Eggsy almost shouted, incredulous, “Wait, didn't he complete his mission though? Didn't they get the guy?" he added after a few seconds, a bit more sedated.

"He did, but it seems his son has taken up his mantel" Harry replied "And I have to say you're quite wrong. The agent has already agreed to resume his role"

"Jesus, he must be fuckin’ insane" Eggsy mumbled, and without meaning to, Merlin replied.

"Yes, I must be"

Eggsy’s eyes shot to him at his words.

"Fuck me. _You_? You're the agent?" he asked, somehow sounding in awe. Merlin could only nod at the look on Eggsy’s face. It was close to adoration.

Harry cleared his throat after a few seconds.

“Right. So, the plan is for Merlin to try and get back in good with the organisation, have him assume his old post, as it were. And then _you_ come in” Harry says as to Eggsy, who had been staring at Merlin the whole time.

“You’re going to become friends with Archy, try and get on the inside as well. From there we’ll see about rolling the gang up, _for good_ ” he turned to Merlin on his final words, giving him a sympathetic smile.

“I’m sorry, but who’s Archy?” Eggsy asked with a quirked eyebrow as his eyes moved between Merlin and Harry.

“I am” Merlin replied, as Eggsy’s eyes stayed on him.

“Archibald, originally, but everyone started calling me Archy, so it stuck” he explained, unnecessarily, but Eggsy was still looking at him as though _anything_ he had to say was interesting.

“So, we’ll have _Archy_ going back to the gang tomorrow, and then we’ll introduce you three weeks in, Eggsy, to not make it suspect. You can discuss amongst the two of you how you wish to do so. Eggsy you will have your glasses on at all times, so any and all information gets documented here, by me. I’ll personally oversee your mission” Harry provides.

“Along with the information from Merlin’s glasses” Eggsy supplies, and Merlin makes a sound at that.

“Archy doesn’t wear glasses” Merlin says, giving the boy a look.

“Okay, so you’ll have an earpiece in” Eggsy says slowly, glancing between the two older men again. Harry shakes his head.

“It would be too dangerous. They will most likely be suspicious of him as is, it being more than 5 years since he’s been with them. If he’s caught with an ear piece, I don’t think it would end well” Harry tells him, and a look comes over Eggsy.

“So, you’re sayin’ he’s goin in there all on his own for three weeks, no back up nuffin, and you just wha’? Expect him to do their fuckin’ biddin’?” his old accent bleeding into his speech indicated that Eggsy felt very strongly about this, and Merlin felt a flutter deep down at the young man’s concern.

“Eggsy” he starts softly, trying to focus the boy’s attention on him. And it works as he turns burning, somewhat reluctant eyes to Merlin.

“This is not my first rodeo. I’ve done this before, quite successful I might ad. I’ll be fine” he tells him, leaning forward a little, trying to convince both Eggsy and himself.

“Yeah, but like Harry said, they’re gonna be suspicious as fuck about you. There’s no telling what they’ll do” Eggsy states and Merlin knows he’s right.

“That is true. But I can stand my own. I’ve known these men in the past, know what they’re capable off. But they also know what _I’m_ capable off” Merlin says, somewhat cryptic and a questioning look passes over Eggsy’s face, who glances at Harry for a second before resting his eyes back on Merlin.

Harry passes a folder to Eggsy then, diverting the boy’s attention away from Merlin, who shoots Harry a grateful look.

“In this folder is all the information you need about this mission. Merlin will go under again tomorrow”

“Tomorrow?!” Eggsy sounds alarmed at this.

“Yes, tomorrow. Merlin and I have already talked about it” Harry continues, and Eggsy looks between the two men again.

“We have arranged a flat for him in downtown London that’s being finished as we speak, and all should be well to reintroduce himself” Harry finishes, keeping his eyes on Merlin, who gives him a small nod.

“Any questions?” Harry asks then, and before Eggsy can answer Merlin speaks up.

“I’ll leave Harry to answer the questions, I have to go sort some things before the mission” and with that he almost flees from the room, moving swiftly back to his own office.

He sits down on his couch, inhaling and exhaling deeply a couple of times to calm his nerves. This was a bad idea, and involving Eggsy was an even worse idea. This was _not_ going to end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We got some concern, we got some looks, we got some praise... Juicy already..
> 
> Lyric from Everybody knows by Sigrid


	3. Is that you reaching or you wanting to run?

Merlin looked at himself in the mirror. The comfortable jumper was gone, as was the bespoke suit, making way for a made to order one. The cut was different, and the urge to tuck at the ends of his jacket was almost too hard to resist. Harry had seen pictures from 15 years ago, and had suggested maybe a hair piece, but Merlin had shot that down pretty quickly. He didn’t want to lose himself completely. Not again.

He’d been talking out loud all afternoon, trying to get Archy’s accent back, as well as his mannerisms, and it was hard for him. It had never crossed his mind that he would have to go down this path ever again, and yet here he was, about to walk it.

As far as intel was concerned, the Wild Bunch was still intact, all the members having survived the past years as well as V-Day. Johnny had stepped up after Lenny had ‘disappeared’, using his own people to fill the ranks in the organisation, Roman and Mickey coming around in the end. He’d also kept Bandy, as far as it seemed, though Merlin didn’t really know why. Much could be said for Johnny, but the boy was smart and knew how to work people. Merlin just hoped Johnny still trusted him enough to let him in.

Though he knew _trust_ wasn’t the main thing. Merlin closed his eyes tightly, and could almost recall the feel of the boy’s skin beneath his fingertips. Merlin exhaled slowly before opening his eyes, this was a _bad idea_.

There was a knock at the door then, and he glanced at the clock on his bedside table. Nearly ten. Moving towards the door he wasn’t surprised who was waiting on the other side as he opened it, and he stepped aside immediately to let the other man in.

“That is a horrible suit”

Merlin has to laugh at that, because _of course_ that’s the first thing Harry notices.

“The fit’s even worse” he replies with a smile, but it disappears when Harry turns to him with a look.

“You don’t sound like you” Harry says and he knows, and Merlin knows he knows, but it’s a thing apparently that needs to be said.

“I’m not gonna _be_ me, am I?”

Harry moves around Merlin’s kitchen counter then and plucks two tumblers from the cupboard, before moving to the antique cabinet in the living room to fish a bottle of Scotch from its depths. He pours them both a generous amount, before he sinks down into the couch, holding Merlin’s glass out for him. Merlin looks at it for a second before taking it, and sitting down next to Harry. They clink them together in a silent and odd sort of toast, and they don’t talk for several minutes as they savour the company and taste. Both trying not to think about what tomorrow will bring.

“What do I have to know that’s _not_ in the file?” Harry asks eventually, and it’s a question Merlin both expected and dreaded. Because there is a lot _not_ in the file. And there is a lot that Harry _should_ know, but what Merlin _doesn’t_ want him to.

Merlin places his glass on the coffee table, and contemplates the amber liquid for a moment, trying to figure out _how_ to say the things he needs his friend – his best friend – to know.

“What _do_ you know?” he settles on eventually, figuring it’s the easiest way to see what needs to be told.

Harry turns to him then, legs crossed, tumbler of whisky gripped loosely in long, strong fingers, eyes imploring.

“Eight years into the mission you went to jail” Harry says, and Merlin almost flinches. _Subtle_.

“Yes” he keeps his voice neutral.

“Why?” Harry asks.

“There was an informer, grassing to the cops” Merlin says as he reaches for his drink again. He has a feeling he’s going to need it.

Harry nods at that.

“What was it like?” he almost whispers the question and Merlin blinks at him. Does he want Harry to know? No. Does Harry _need_ to know this? Also no.

“I don’t wanna talk about that” he says as he shakes his head, “Ask me something else”

Harry looks at him for a moment, searching his face before taking a sip of his whisky. Merlin mimics his motion, but nearly spits his drink out at Harry’s next question.

“Who’s Johnny to you?”

Merlin has to cough a little to recover, and a look comes to Harry’s eyes then, as though he _knows_.

“He’s Lenny’s kid. Step-kid” he corrects himself, and Harry tilts his head a little, boring his eyes into him.

“Lenny was hard on the boy. He didn’t want him, but was stuck with him. They… They didn’t get on” Merlin says, shrugging again, not meeting Harry’s eyes.

“And…?” Harry prodded. Merlin sighed, swirling the liquid in his glass, watching it circle and nearly spill over. Johnny used to be like that. Swirling and circling, pushing. Pushing Lenny, pushing _him_. The boy had been a wildfire, raging and taking, and he tasted like the burn of a good whisky. 

Merlin took another sip.

“ _And_ he would lash out, and Lenny would react. Badly. And I would… I would… Pick him up… Put him back together” Merlin continued, eyes still on his whisky, lost in the memories.

“And how far did that go?” Harry asked, voice soft but telling. Merlin looked up at him and as they made eye contact he saw that Harry _knew_. They sat looking at each other for a few moments, before Merlin couldn’t hold his stare anymore and looked back at his drink.

“Is that going to be a problem?”

And Merlin didn’t know the answer to that, hoped it wouldn’t, but the boy was unpredictable at best.

“Let me rephrase” Harry said making Merlin look at him “Is that going to be a problem for _you_?”

Merlin thought about that. _Was_ it going to be a problem for him? No, he didn’t think so. Whatever feelings he might have had for the boy in the past had been left there, _in_ the past. Was it going to be a problem for him to have the object of his current affections be near the boy who once held his affection? _Yes_ , most likely. Though affection might not be the best word to describe the feelings he once had for Johnny. It hadn’t been affection, and it definitely hadn’t been _love_. It had been, at best, a mutual need for connection. And connect they did.

“I’m honestly not sure” Merlin confessed, “I’m not sure about this whole mission” he finished with a sigh, as he leaned back into the couch, closing his eyes. He was regretting accepting the mission. Both this one and the one from 20 years ago. That one had messed up his entire life and he had a feeling this one was going to do the same thing all over again. He felt Harry’s eyes on him, so he opened his own and gazed back at him.

“I know this is…- You know I wouldn’t ask this of you if I had another choice. And this time will be different, I promise you” Harry says, voice still painfully soft and Merlin raises an eyebrow at him.

“Different how?”

Harry puts his glass down, and leans towards Merlin.

“ _I’ll_ be the one looking out for you. And you _won’t_ be alone” he says heavily, conveying his sincerity, and Merlin is _beyond_ grateful.

“Thank you, Harry. Truly”

Harry picks up his glass once more, and raises it in a toast.

“To missions completed” he says and Merlin raises his eyebrow at that.

“Shouldn’t we toast to that after we’ve, you know, _actually_ completed the mission?”

Harry shrugs and makes a dismissive gesture with his free hand.

“We’ll have another one when we do” and he says it with such surety that Merlin chuckles, the tension that had surfaced dissipating, and as he clinks his glass to Harry’s he can almost believe his best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Harry... Anyway, so we got a little bit more insight in what the frick happened during the last mission (though I'm sure we could have guessed)
> 
> Song is Pistols at dawn by Seinabo Sey


	4. I'm not dead, just floating

He arrived at The Speeler early afternoon, the front looking almost exactly the same as the last time he was there and he took one last breath as he pushes the doors open. The inside _was_ exactly the same. The same cheap furniture, the same smell of smoke and stale coffee permeating the air and at the centre of everything, The Wild Bunch. Everyone paused what they were doing as they turned to look at him as he stood in the doorway, and Merlin tried to look surer of himself than he felt. No one said a word for a few tense seconds.

“Afternoon” he said eventually, and it was as though someone had pushed the ‘play’ button.

“Archy?” Bob was the first to ask, getting up to give Merlin a hug.

“Handsome” Merlin replied, giving the man a squeeze, before he was held at arm’s length.

“Where the fuck have you been, we haven’t seen you in ages” it was One Two this time, coming up behind Bob and pushing him out the way to get his own hug in.

“Russians got me” Merlin said, as he was lead to the table by One Two.

It was the story they had crafted. The Russians had got to him after Lenny disappeared. He’d spent the last 5 years in prison, and thanks to the chaos of V-Day, Archy had made a miraculous escape.

“Well, it’s good to see you again” Fred pipes up, as Merlin shakes Mumbles’ extended hand.

“Arch”

“I see you’re all doing well” Merlin mentions, looking around the place for emphasis, “Not much has changed”

“Well, not here it hasn’t” Fred replies, and this gets Merlin’s attention and he arches an eyebrow.

“Johnny stepped up a couple years ago, took over Lenny’s business” Fred explains, and gets confirming nods from the rest of the men.

“Did he now?” Merlin says, acting surprised.

“I should go give my regards then. Any idea where I can find him?” he continues, best to get right to business. Get it over with.

“The Office” Fred simply says and both of Merlin’s eyebrows go up this time.

“He took the old man’s place?”

Fred nods at that, casting a quick glance around the table before continuing.

“Yeah, called it poetic or some shit, not quite sure. He got clean after Lenny ‘disappeared’, but he’s still spouting nonsense”

The way Fred said ‘disappeared’ almost had Merlin flinching. It was, after all, _his_ fault Lenny was no longer around, and Merlin had a feeling the men at this table were immensely grateful for that.

“All right. Well, I’d best go say hello then, shall I?” Merlin says with a smile and he was about to say his farewell when One Two pipes up.

“Ye lookin’ to get yer old job back, Arch?” it was asked with a raised eyebrow, and Merlin’s smile turns into a smirk as he makes his way out the door, but not without telling the boys he’ll be back for a proper cuppa sometime soon.

He takes a deep breath as he gets back in his car. That went a lot smoother than he had thought, and it actually felt good seeing the old gang again. He starts the car after a few moments and he is about to text Harry the address when there’s a knock on his window, startling him slightly. He looks over to find Handsome Bob standing there, a smile on his face, and a box under his arm.

“Bob?” Merlin asks after he’s rolled the window down.

“I’ve got a package I need to get to Johnny. Can I hitch a ride?” it seemed an innocent request, but Merlin was sure it wasn’t. He knew how this game was played.

“Sure. Hop in” he motions, and puts his mobile back in his pocket.

“You can call whoever you want” Bob quips, motioning to Merlin’s pocket, as he places the box at his feet.

“Wasn’t calling no one” Merlin replies as he looks at Bob expectantly as the man sits back in his seat.

“What, Archy?” Bob asks with a confused look.

“Seatbelt” Merlin simply says, and Bob actually rolls his eyes as he puts the seatbelt on, before Merlin pulls out of his parking spot and onto the road.

Merlin hasn’t been on London streets in a long time, but as he weaves his way through them he feels the familiarity of them, and he relaxes a little. Which had been a mistake.

“So…” Bob says, fiddling with his mobile a little, as though he wasn’t really interested in whatever conversation they were about to have. Merlin glances at him as he waits for the man to continue, and when he doesn’t he can feel the first waves off familiar annoyance at the man resurface. Bob did always like to push.

“So?” Merlin quips when they’ve stopped at a red light, half turning to the man.

“So… How have you been?” Bob asks, a small smile on his lips as he puts his mobile back in his pocket, looking back at Merlin. And he seems earnest in his inquiry. Merlin thought on the question a moment, and didn’t answer until they were in motion again.

“Alright I suppose, all things considered” and he found that wasn’t even a lie. He _was_ alright. For now.

“That’s good, Arch. That’s good” Bob replies as he nods and glances at Merlin. Merlin looks back at him, and Bob diverts his gaze back to the road ahead, and when Merlin did the same he could feel Bob’s eyes on him again. He takes his left hand off the wheel to rub at his brow. He could feel a headache coming up and he’s only been in the man’s company for ten fucking minutes.

“Spit it out, Bob” he growls as the man continued to silently look at him. Bob holds up his hands in a non-threatening gesture and chuckles.

“Sorry, Arch. It’s just... Well, we haven’t seen you in years. _I_ haven’t seen you in years, I was just looking at ya. You’ve changed a bit is all”

Merlin casts him a sidelong glance, and Bob was smiling at him, a genuine-like smile and Merlin relaxed a little as he nods.

“Yeah… Yeah alright” he concedes.

“Alright” Bob echoes as he glances out the windshield real quick before looking back at Merlin.

“You really looking for yer old job back? Coz I can tell ya, Johnny runs a good ship, but he doesn’t have a proper Archy” Bob says then and Merlin furrows his brow.

“I didn’t know I was a job description” he grumbles, and Bob laughs at that.

“Well, you were a force to be reckoned with, weren’t ya? And you didn’t always need to get real violent, coz people _knew_ what you were capable off. But the guy he’s got now? Bennie? Big and stupid. Gets the job done, yeah, but not in the way you used to do”

Somewhere in all that was a compliment towards him, Merlin was sure, so he looks at Bob for a few seconds.

“Thanks. I think”

Bob nods at him, but doesn’t press the question, and it’s not long before they arrive at The Office. It’s not an office building, as one would think, but Lenny’s old house. Johnny’s second childhood home. They’d come to call it The Office back in the day, and apparently it’s another thing that had stuck. He drives up to the gate, and rolls the window down before pushing the button for the intercom, wondering if he’ll get in on his name alone.

“Who’s it?”

Merlin freezes for a second, because even through the grainy static of the intercom he recognizes Johnny’s voice, and it throws him a little, even if he doesn’t know why. Bob clears his throat next to him and it brings Merlin back, and he glances at the man for a second before answering.

“It’s Archy”

Nothing happens for a few tense seconds, and Merlin’s hands tighten on the steering wheel. What if he doesn’t want to see him? What if he doesn’t let him in? The mission will be over before it’s even truly begun. But then there’s a buzzing sound and the gate creaks open. Merlin glances at Bob again, the man’s eyes still on him, as he drives up the lane, and parks the car to the side. The front door opens just as he’s stepped out of the car and he looks up to see Johnny standing in the doorway, and he takes a moment to look the boy over. Only he’s not a boy, not anymore. Hadn’t been the last time he’d seen him, but he’d been a permanently smoking crack pipe back then. But this Johnny? This was a man. Clad in dark grey suit trousers, and a pressed ivory coloured shirt, clean shaven and hair styled, he looks like a proper business man, and Merlin has to swallow.

“Uncle?” Johnny mutters as he makes his way down the three front steps, before enveloping Merlin in a bone crushing hug. Merlin puts his arms around the boy on instinct, and it feels _right_. Johnny has smushed his face into Merlin’s neck, and he can feel the boy – man – inhale deeply. He feels one of Johnny’s hands slide down his back, and before he can react, it has pulled the gun from his waistband.

“Give us yer money, Arch” Johnny says, taking a step back and aiming the gun at Merlin, who puts his hands up in reflex, a soft smile on his face. There isa smile on Johnny’s face as well, and his eyes shine with unshed tears. He immediately lowers the gun, and reaches out to give it back to Merlin.

“I’ve missed you, Uncle” Johnny says earnestly as Merlin steps forward to take his gun back, stuffing it back into his waistband, smiling at the boy.

“I’ve missed you too, John. Let me look at you” he says, even though he already had. Johnny grins at that.

“I look good, don’t I? Like a real RocknRolla… Like you” his voice turned softer towards the end, and Merlin can’t keep his eyes from roaming over the boy’s face and body.

“Yeah… Yeah, you look good, John” Merlin can’t help but say, and the two men look at each other in silence for a few seconds, something rising between them. But before Merlin can decipher what it is, Bob comes walking round the car.

“Alright, Johnny?” he says in greeting, and Johnny whips his head towards Bob.

“Handsome. What brings you here today?” he questions as his eyes drop to the box in Bob’s hands.

“I got your order” Bob replies with a grin, and Johnny lets out an excited sound as he hops in place a little. ‘ _Still a boy then_ ’

“Wonderful! Well, come on in” Johnny says as he turns on the spot and walks out in front of them into the house. Merlin motions for Bob to go first, and he trails a little after the man, taking stock of the camera placement and the number of muscle he can see milling about the garden, but as he steps into the house he’s hit with such a feeling of familiarity that he stops just inside the threshold. It’s _exactly_ the same. The same gaudy decorations, the same furniture, the same _smell_ . _Nothing_ had changed.

“Arch?” Bob half whispers, and Merlin turns somewhat dazed eyes on him, before shaking himself out of his revere and following Bob to where Johnny had gone.

Stepping into Lenny’s old office felt weird, initially. This, like the rest of the house, had not changed. The same desk, the same carpet, the same chair. The only addition was a painting on the wall. A very familiar painting. Johnny stood behind his desk and motioned for Merlin to take a seat as Bob placed the package on the desk.

“Drink?” Johnny offers, but Merlin declines. Wouldn’t do to fall into _that_ habit again. Johnny opens the package and pulls out a gorgeous looking gun. Shining silver, with ivory touches and was that mother of pearl on the barrel? Johnny holds it expertly, turning it this way and that, letting it catch the light, all the while with a blinding smile on his face. He turns his eyes to Merlin.

“Do you like it?” he asks, and Merlin looks at the gun again, having been too focused on the boy.

“It’s very…pretty” Merlin says, for lack of a better word, and Johnny nods at that.

“Yeah… Pretty…” he runs his hands over the barrel one more time before looking at Bob.

“You did good” he tells him with a smile, as he pulls a drawer of his desk open and hands Bob a closed envelope. Bob accepts it, and excuses himself, leaving the men to catch up. Bob shoots Merlin a look, one that makes Merlin inexplicably nervous, but says nothing as he leaves the office.

Johnny places the gun on the desk, next to his tumbler of whisky, and he sits down in the plush leather chair, looking silently at Merlin for what seems like minutes.

“Where’ve you been?” there’s a sort of tremble in his voice, and Merlin looks at Johnny. The boy is looking at him with big, shining eyes, and he looks lost. Merlin has to swallow.

“The Russians got me” he says, and for some reason it sounds weak to his own ears. Johnny nods though, so at least _he_ believes him.

“How’d you get out?” Johnny’s grips his glass between his hands, swirling the liquid, but not drinking any.

“That day everything went to shit. V-Day? Chaos everywhere, and I managed to get out. Took me a while to get back here” Merlin tells him, and Johnny nods at him, finally taking a sip of his whisky.

“Lost a lot of good men that day” he starts “The Wild Bunch is still intact though, thank the Heavens” he says, raising his glass in a toast, and Merlin inclines his head in return.

A man walks into the office then, from the side door. Big and mean looking. He looks to Johnny first, before glancing at Merlin and Merlin can see the man’s eyes widen slightly. The man seems to recognize him. Johnny makes a sound around his drink.

“Bennie! Come here, come meet Archy” he motions from the man to Merlin, and the man walks towards him, towers over him as Merlin stays seated.

“Bennie’s my muscle” Johnny says with a smile, and Merlin looks between the two men a couple of times.

“We’ve met” Bennie says then, as he moves back to stand at Johnny’s side. Both Johnny and Merlin look at him questioningly, as Merlin has _no idea_ who this man is.

“It's almost twenty years ago. At school” Bennie says and Merlin looks at him, _really_ looks at him.

“You were there one day when I came to pick him up” Merlin says almost absently and Johnny looks at him, still clueless.

“You remember, John. There was another kid there too. You pulled the gun from my waistband to show em” he finishes and sees the light come on in Johnny’s eyes.

“Of course! How could I forget? You and Tommy!”

Bennie nods at that, a small smile on his face.

“You scared the shit out of us” he says to Merlin, and Merlin can’t help but laugh at that.

“I would say I’m sorry, but…” he replies and Bennie laughs as well.

“But you’re not” Bennie finishes for him, and Merlin nods. Johnny looks between the two men before settling on Merlin.

“Come work for me, Uncle” he says then, and Merlin sobers up when looking at him, keeping a small smile on his face.

“Doing what?”

“Same as you did for dear old Daddy” Johnny says, leaning back in his chair, twirling a bit from side to side.

“Be my right hand man” Johnny’s eyes bore into Merlin’s with an intensity that Merlin hadn’t experienced in a long time, and even if he’d wanted to, he couldn’t tell the boy no.

“Of course, John” he replies after a few moments, and the smile that comes to Johnny’s face could light up a room. And the boy gets up to pour two drinks. He passes one glass to Bennie and the other to Merlin, who is about to decline but Johnny shakes his head.

“No. We gotsta toast” he grins, picking up his own glass.

“To old acquaintances and new beginnings”

Merlin raises his glass to clink against the others, and he takes a sip, all the while maintaining eye contact with Johnny. _This is a bad idea_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prodigal son returns... So Bennie is my OC (yeah, you've guessed that right, because of my undying love for Bennie and the Jets by Sir Elton John) He doesn't get much screentime, but he's there, lurking in the shadows.
> 
> Song is I'm not dead by P!nk


	5. You and me got a whole lot of history

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised to put the warnings on the chapters, so we've got some (mild) torture and violence in this chapter. Oh shucks and child abuse (off screen..script...text)

_It’s 5 years into the mission and the kid is 15 when Merlin notices a shift in the boy’s attention towards him. Lenny had been a right bastard to the boy, beating him to keep him in line, which never really worked. On more than one occasion the boy had come to him, for comfort. The kid kept tough of course, wouldn't say outright it was for comfort, but Merlin knew. Saw the way the kid relaxed when he was around him._

_It was on such a day that Merlin saw the change. Johnny was home for Christmas break, and it hadn't even been two days of the two being in a house together before the shouting had started. Slamming doors, rattling windows, shattering plates, it was normal in the Cole household. Merlin had tried to be around more when the boy was home, just to make sure they didn't kill each other. Three days in, and the boy had taken something of Lenny's. Merlin couldn't even remember what it was now, but at the time it was important. It was well past midnight when the boy had come home – drunk – and Lenny was waiting with his belt. Merlin had been in bed, not really asleep, never_ could _sleep if he didn't know where the boy was, and heard the crack the leather made as it connected with the kid's cheek. And then again. And then once more. It was silent after that and Merlin had waited with baited breath until he heard the stairs creak. There was a tentative knock on his door then, and he bid the boy to enter._

_The kid had grown a lot, all long limbs and awkwardness as he stood in the doorway, illuminated by the light in the hallway, leaning against the post, head hung and shaking a little. Merlin waited patiently, it usually wouldn't do to push the boy, and after a few silent seconds he walked into the room, closing the door behind him, casting the room back into darkness._

_He heard the boy shuffle towards the bed, and felt the mattress dip as he sat down at Merlin’s hip, a bit too close for his comfort. Merlin moved to turn the bedside lamp on, but one of Johnny's bony hands closed around his wrist, halting his movement._

_"John?" Merlin asked tentatively, and in the dark he could see the boy shake his head. The light coming through the curtains was just enough to see the outline of the boy, but not much more, so Merlin moved his other hand to switch on the lamp. The light stung his eyes for a second but as he looked at Johnny he didn't pay it any mind. There were three distinct marks on his cheek, where the belt had come down, each one deeper than the one before. The one on his cheekbone deep enough to draw blood. The boy looked like shit. Pale, deep circles under his eyes, his hair slick with sweat against his forehead, and those marks._

_Merlin was furious. How could someone do that to a child? But he knew he couldn't say anything to Lenny, lest he risk losing his place and jeopardizing the mission._

_There was a squeeze on his wrist then, and as he looked down he realized that he had unconsciously balled his hands into tight fists. He released the tension and looked up at the boy, who was looking at him with a strange glint in his eyes. The eyes trailed down Merlin’s face, down his shirtless chest and rested on his lap, clad in pyjama pants and covered by the sheets, before moving back up to his face. The thumb of the hand holding his wrist was slowly drawing circles into his skin, and Merlin suddenly recognized that look._ Lust _._

_"John" he said again, as a warning perhaps, he wasn't entirely sure. The boy looked at him a few seconds longer before releasing the wrist, folding his hands in his lap._

_"It was just a bit of fun" the boy said then and Merlin wasn't sure what he was talking about, so he waited._

_"He shouldn't have left that gun where I could find it" Johnny continues, trademark smirk back on his face, the mischievous twinkle darkening his eyes._

Ah _._

_"I took it out back for target practice is all. Shot a couple of bottles. I'm getting real good, Uncle Archy" he finished with a wink._

_The boy got up then, feet unsteady, and Merlin reached out unconsciously to steady him, but stopped halfway. Johnny looked at him and his outstretched arm with a half sort of smile._

_"I'm alright, Uncle. Really" he said, giving him a last one-over, before leaving the room._

“Uncle?”

Merlin is pulled from his thoughts by Johnny’s face inches from his own. Merlin shakes his head a little and looks around, the other occupants in the room looking at him as well. He looks back at Johnny to see a concerned look in his eyes, and something tells him that the boy has been calling for his attention for some time now.

“Sorry, John. What was that?”

“I _said_ , “It was just a bit of fun”, but these three didn’t seem to think so” Johnny says, turning back to the three men tied to their chairs, in the middle of the warehouse. They were drenched to the bone and shivering, the October chill not helping.

It was almost two weeks into the mission, and Merlin had settled right in. He’d re-established himself in their little world, most people remembering Archy from before, and all the new faces were quick to know their place around him. Archy was _still_ a force to be reckoned with, and Merlin was pleased by that. Made his job a lot easier.

Speaking of his job. They currently had three men affiliated with a rival gang tied up in their warehouse and it was Archy’s job to ask the questions. There had been an attack on a shipment of Johnny’s and he wanted to know who’d done it, and where they could be found. Bandy turned out to be quite handy with a hose, and when either man said something that Johnny didn’t want to hear, the hose was set on him.

Merlin stepped towards the middle one, Jackson. He was the oldest of the three, and his lips were the bluest.

“Just tell the man what he wants to know. You give him a name, and we’ll get you back home, warm and dry in fresh clothes. Doesn’t that sound nice?” he’d used a friendly tone, tried to coax the man, but he wouldn’t budge. He flicked his eyes between Merlin and Johnny, a calculating look coming to his eyes.

“Why do you work for a punk like that?” came the question, teeth clattering together as he tried to speak and Merlin looked back at Johnny.

“He just called you a punk, John” Merlin informs, and Johnny motions to Bandy.

“Hose him”

The man sputters as he’s hit with the blast of water, and he coughs when Bandy turns it off after a few seconds.

“You used to work for a _real_ gangster” Jackson continues, as though he hasn’t just been soaked again.

“Lenny Cole was a proper criminal. Why are you hangin’ with this kid?” a grin comes to the man’s face then, and a dirty look to his eyes as he leans towards Merlin.

“You fuckin’ him?” he whispers almost inaudible, and Merlin’s hand shoots out, the slap resounding around the warehouse.

“That, gents, is the famous Archy Slap. Hurts don’t it?” Johnny says, as he comes to stand next to Merlin, looking down at Jackson, who seems to have lost the ability to talk, at least temporarily. Merlin casts a quick glance at Johnny, but the man has moved on to one of the others, a small fellow by the name of Emmett.

“You want one of them slaps as well?” he asks the man, and Merlin can tell Johnny is getting fed up.

“N-no” the man answers, his entire frame shaking.

“Then tell me what I want to know!” Johnny yells, the echoes bouncing off the walls, and the man shrinks in on himself a little. Johnny looks between the three men, and when it was obvious neither would talk he lets out a growl, turning to Merlin.

“Archy, pick one, shoot him in the knee” he orders, taking a few steps back, waiting. Merlin swallows at that. Up until now he hadn’t had to do anything violent, only mildly illegal, but this, this would cross the line. But as he thought on the morals of everything, he pulls the gun from his waistband, and looks between the three. Emmett was green as grass, new to the life, and most likely to talk. Damian was a kid, too young to be part of this, and young enough to maybe even get out of it in time. Jackson was an asshole.

The gunshot rings out, and the excruciatingly painful wail that follows sends a tingling sensation down Merlin’s spine. The warehouse amplifies the sounds, and Merlin closes his eyes for a second to revel in it. He feels a hand at the small of his back then, and when he opens his eyes and turns his head, Johnny is standing next to him with a small smile on his face and Merlin can’t help but mirror his smile. He lets it slip off when he turns back to the men. Damian is white as a sheet, eyes huge and mouth open, gaping at the bullet wound. Emmett is shaking even more violently, complexion mirroring Damian’s. Jackson is cursing up a storm, squirming in his seat as tears and snot are streaming down his face.

“Now” Merlin starts, catching the attention of all three men, “Can someone please tell me what I want to hear?”

“You fucking prick!! Fucking poofter! I ain’t tellin’ you and your fuckin’ whore nothing! Fuck you!” Jackson’s face is turning about the same shade as the blood dripping from his knee, and Merlin’s eye twitches at the insult. Johnny seems indifferent as he leans forward.

“Did you just call me a whore?” there is a tinge of surprise Johnny's voice, and he tilts his head a little. Jackson growls, before spitting in Johnny’s face. Johnny recoils, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe his face clean with, and Merlin’s reaction is instant and completely involuntary and Jackson screams as his other knee catches a bullet.

“Fuck! Okay!! It was Henson! Henson stopped the shipment! Please!” Damian rambles, words tumbling from his mouth, voice pleading.

Merlin blinks. And again. He slowly turns his eyes towards Johnny, who is looking back at him with huge eyes. He looks past Johnny to see Bandy standing with much the same expression on his face.

“Okay…” Johnny starts carefully, before looking back at the three men, “Okay! Thank you for your willingness to share, and have a wonderful day. Bandy, Bennie get them out of here” he makes a vague gesture towards the three men, and with that said gives Merlin a piercing look, before turning and walking back to the car. Merlin can do nothing but follow, as he stuffs the gun back into the waistband.

Johnny is leaning against the driver’s side door, hands in his pockets, looking nonchalant to the world, as Merlin walks towards the car. But Merlin knows better. There’s a hint of nervousness to his stature, and he’s resolutely looking at the ground. Merlin comes to a halt in front of him, far away enough to not exacerbate the nervousness, but close enough to make his presence known. Johnny looks up then, a look in his eyes, and he takes a step forward, crowding Merlin, who stands his ground.

“Thank you, Uncle” the boy murmurs, before leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on the corner of Merlin’s mouth. Johnny walks around the car then, and slips into the passenger seat. Merlin shakes himself a little before slipping into the driver’s seat. He starts the car without looking at Johnny.

“Can we stop for burgers on the way back? I’m absolutely famished” Johnny asks and when Merlin looks at the man he’s fiddling on his mobile, smiling when they make eye contact. And just like that, whatever moment there might have been between the two is gone.

“Sure, John. Whatever you want” Merlin replies, sending the boy a small smile as he drives away from the warehouse, as though everything is fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, our first glimpse of Archy! And another bit of flasbackery. Our boi is bad. Also I'm starting to wonder if I need the incest tag on? They're not technically related by blood, but Johnny does call him Uncle... What do you guys think??
> 
> Song History by One Direction


	6. I mean I could, but why would I want to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, yeah warning here, we have some sexy time, with a minor. Sorry.

_Johnny getting into fights was nothing new. The boy was 17, and angry. Archy getting called at three in the morning by a ranting Lenny was also, unfortunately, nothing new. Lenny calling Archy to go pick Johnny up from the police station_ was _new however. The boy didn't normally get caught. Archy let out a sigh as he swung his legs over the edge of his bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, before he sat there for a few moments, hearing Lenny's angry voice carry over the phone. He’d given up on actually listening to him._

_“Go fetch him” was the last thing Lenny grumbled before hanging up, and Archy blinked at his mobile for a few seconds. He sighs again as he gets up, pulling on some trousers and a jumper, before moving through his flat, gathering his things. He’s out the door 10 minutes after the phone call._

_He knows the police station, and he charms his way through the various questions, and he can see Johnny sitting on a bench a little ways down. There’s blood on his face, he can tell, but he can’t make out much more. He pays a copper and he’s got Johnny in his car forty five minutes later. The boy hadn’t said a word yet, hadn’t even made eye contact yet, but Archy is used to that by now._

_He’s looked the boy over, the blood on his face is mostly from a cut high up on his cheek. There’s dried blood under his nose as well, as well as a split lip, and his left eye is a spectacular shade of purple._

_"I don't wanna go home" the boy mumbles suddenly, eyes still downcast, lip swollen and split, and Archy actually felt pity for him._

_"Alright John, I won't take ye home" he'd assured him and Johnny had looked at him for the first time since he’d come to get him._

_"Can I come back to yours?" it was cautiously asked, and if it had been another day another time, Archy might have said no. But it being almost 5 am on a Tuesday morning in March, Archy just conceded._

_"Yeah, John. Yeah you can come to mine" it wasn't really said on a sigh but it was close enough. But Johnny's eyes lit up and for the first time that morning there was a small smile on his face, so Archy let it go._

_They didn’t say much as they made their way to Archy’s flat, and once they’d got there Archy motioned for the boy to sit on the couch while he got some medical supplies. Archy was carefully cleaning John's face, the heavy bruising around his eye looked even worse up close. He hadn’t asked what happened, and he honestly didn’t want to know._

_He took care of the cut on Johnny’s cheek using a warm cloth to wipe it clean, followed by some antiseptic, and when he pushed the cotton ball into Johnny's cheek, the boy pulled back, hissing._

_"Stay still, John" Archy said gently as he put his hand on the back of the boy's head to keep him in place. Johnny's eyes widened a little at the motion and this close Archy could tell the boy's breathing had picked up._

_Archy made the mistake of making eye contact, and he could see the boy's pupils blowing up, as Johnny licked his lips, causing the cut on the lower one to open again._

_"John…" Archy chastised, as he used his thumb to catch the drop of blood making its way down his chin. Johnny turned his head and captured the thumb between his teeth, and Archy snapped his eyes to his._

_"John" it was a warning this time, but as he felt Johnny's tongue flick out to lick the blood drop from his thumb he could feel his resolve crack a little. Johnny could sense it too and he released the thumb, slowly moving closer to Archy._

_"Please, Uncle" Johnny murmured, his lips inches from Archy's own._

_"You've said 'no' so many times…" Johnny continued, and Archy had. Had said no a lot of times. Every time Johnny came too close, or looked at him a certain way, or when those long fingers would inch towards him, Archy had said 'no' ._

_"Please… Please say 'yes'. Please" Johnny was out right begging, and it did something to Archy's insides. Sent a flutter through them and he wanted to. Wanted to say yes, but…_

_"I can't John…"_

_"Yes you can, Uncle… Please. You_ can _" Johnny had moved closer still, mainly because Archy hadn’t moved back, and Archy could almost feel the movement of Johnny’s lips against his own. And then Johnny stuck his tongue out and with the tip barely grazed Archy's bottom lip, but it was enough to break Archy's resolve. He surged forward with a growl, claiming Johnny's lips in an aggressive, bruising kiss. The boy whimpered and moaned, surrendering to Archy, and Archy took. Finally took._

_Archy moved one of his hands into the boy’s hair, gripping it, holding him in place, as the other one moved underneath the boy’s shirt, finding hot skin. Johnny made a noise when Archy’s hands pressed into his ribs, and Archy pulled back to look at the boy. He looked delicious with his hair mussed, lips kiss swollen, a blush high on his cheeks and his pupils blown, but when Archy pressed against his ribs again the boy grimaced._

_“John?” Archy asked, as he tried to lift the boy’s shirt, but Johnny was quick to push it down._

_“It’s nothing, Uncle” the boy mumbled as he moved forwards to kiss him again, and Archy let him. Licking into the boy’s mouth he moved closer to him, crowded him and pushed him back into the couch, before he settled between the boy’s legs. Johnny fisted his hands into Archy’s jumper, trying to pull it off_ and _pull Archy closer at the same time. Archy moved his hand back under Johnny’s shirt, and as the boy flinched again Archy pulled back, breaking the kiss and looking down at him. Johnny’s chest was heaving, and he looked debauched, lying spread eagle on Archy’s couch._

_Archy took the hem off Johnny’s shirt then and pushed it up, before sucking in a breath. The boy was lean and gorgeous, taut muscles with a slight dusting of hair, but the bruises that covered the left side of the boy’s torso had Archy worried._

_“John…” he said on an exhale, and he lightly traced his fingers over the bruises. He glanced up to the boy’s face, but Johnny had turned his head to the side, avoiding eye contact._

_“John” his voice was stern this time, commanding, and Archy could see a shiver go through Johnny, and the boy slowly looked up at him, and Archy felt a surge of lust go through him, and his hips pushed forward of their own accord. Johnny made a keening sound at that, and Archy had to shake his head to regain his focus._

_“What happened here, John?” he asked, his voice gravely and Johnny looked away again._

_“Nothin’”_

_Archy moved back then, but Johnny was quick to grab onto the front of his jumper._

_“Really Uncle, it’s nothin’. Just fell wrong is all” he explained, and Archy simply raised an eyebrow in response. Johnny huffed out a laugh and sat up, closing his legs around Archy’s waist in one smooth movement, and flipped their positions, trapping Archy. Johnny pushed Archy’s jumper up, bunched it up under his armpits and placed butterfly kisses on Archy’s chest, grazing the skin with his teeth. He’d used his long, thin fingers to fumble open the button to Archy’s jeans, all the while_ _keeping his lips attached to the abs in front of him. Warm calloused fingers moved under the waistband of his underwear, before Archy took hold of the wrist, halting its movements._

_“What do ye think yer doing, John?” Archy asked, voice low and dripping with lust. Johnny looked up at him, pupils blown wide, lips swollen, chest heaving, and Archy could feel that lust spreading. He’d already set one foot into the pond, might as well swim in it._

_“Hmm? What were you planning to do with that hand?” he said as he moved to take Johnny’s shirt off. He could hear a hitch in the boy’s breathing, and as he pops the button on the boy’s ratty jeans, he’s quite certain Johnny has stopped breathing completely. So he looks up, sees the kid looking at him with huge eyes, a flush on his cheeks, but he looks nervous._ Very _nervous. Archy smirks at that._

_“You wanted this John…” he starts, and Johnny nods at him almost unconsciously and Archy moves his mouth right next to the boy’s ear._

_“So yer gonna get it” he growls, before moving his hand into Johnny’s underwear and grasping the hardness he finds there. He gives it a few firm strokes that have Johnny’s eyes rolling into his head._

_“My my… what a big boy you are” Archy chuckles, and he licks his lips as he tugs the jeans and underwear off, leaving Johnny naked on his couch. His skin is flushed, and covered in a slight sheen of sweat, and Archy leans forward slowly, placing a soft kiss in the middle of the hairless chest. He moves to pull a nipple into his mouth, sucks on it gently and gives it a bite, and it pulls the most delicious sounds from Johnny, so he moves to the other to bestow upon it the same kind of treatment. He slowly moves down the boy’s torso sucking and biting, all the while slowly stroking the boy’s leaking cock._

_He looks back up at John when he reaches the base of his cock, and Johnny is back to being a panting mess._

_“Please…. Uncle…” he mutters, licking his lips in anticipation. Archy gives him one last grin before slowly moving lower, tracing his lips around the hard..-_

Merlin wakes with a start, breathing heavily, body covered in sweat. He sits up and flicks on the bedside lamp, squinting at its brightness. He’s shaking a little, and he tries his best to get his breathing under control. He rubs his eyes a little harder than necessary, and curses as he looks down at his lap. He’s hard. He curses himself, and his body, but knows there’s nothing he can do about its reaction.

He glances at his alarm clock and sighs as it reads 02.43. He slowly gets up and makes his way to the bathroom, not bothering to flick on any lights, he knows his way around by now. He turns on the shower, sets it to _this_ side of too cold, and strips out of his sweat soaked shirt and pyjama pants. He hisses slightly as his still hard member comes into contact with the cold air of the bathroom, and he grits his teeth as he steps under the icy cold water.

He turns his head up under the spray, but as he closes his eyes snippets of the memory flit through his mind. The feel of the boy’s skin, the taste of him when he’d closed his mouth around him, the sounds Johnny had made when he’d..-

He snaps his eyes open, and shakes his head. _The point of this shower was to cool down!_ He turns the temperature down even more, and he focuses on the cold, the way it seeps into his body and almost settles into his bones. It still takes _too_ long for his erection to wilt away.

He’s shivering uncontrollably by the time he steps out of the shower, his skin is slightly wrinkled, or _more_ wrinkled anyway, and he has difficulty securing the towel around his waist. He pads back to his bedroom, teeth clattering slightly and when he sees his mussed up bed, he decides he wants to change the sheets.

It’s 03:56 by the time he’s back in bed, still naked and cold from the shower, trying to relax on fresh sheets.

He knew that being submerged in his old life – and that’s really truly what this is, his _old_ life, because it _was_ his life for 20 years – would bring up old memories, he just hadn’t figured they would come like this. He hadn’t thought about that night for almost 20 years, but the memory had played out as though it had happened yesterday. Still as vivid, and as erotic as the moment had been.

He glanced back at the clock. 04:07. His gaze lowered a little at the date, the 12th of October. Eggsy was going to come join the mission today. Was going to join him in this life, see him _be_ Archy. He knows the boy will have read the files, read all the available details on the various jobs _Archy_ has had to do for twenty years, but now the boy was going to see with his own eyes, and Merlin still wasn’t ready for that. He didn’t want the boy to see him like this. He didn’t want the boy to meet The Wild Bunch and he _definitely_ didn’t want the boy to meet Johnny. Johnny who was still unpredictable, and _apparently_ , still had feelings for his ‘uncle’. This was not going to end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry. 
> 
> Not.
> 
> Hands to myself by Selena Gomez


	7. Young, but I'm not that bold

They’d decided on old friends, friends from 5 years ago, just before the Russians got Archy. 

The Speeler was the new hangout. The _old_ Archy had always been at Lenny’s side, and even though Johnny still trusted him with his life, he didn’t need him around 24/7. ‘ _I’ll call ya if I need ya, Arch_ ’. So whenever Johnny _didn’t_ need him, Merlin could be found at The Speeler, after he’d cleaned it up a little. New furniture, fresh coat of paint. It almost looked like a respectable pub now. Eggsy had texted him that he was two minutes away.

“I’ve invited a friend over” Merlin says, as he checks. Two pairs of eyes flick to him, and only one settles back on the cards.

“He’ll be here soon” he continues, as Cookie folds.

“What kind of friend?” Mumbles asks, ever suspicious, still looking at him. Merlin looks back at him.

“An _old_ friend” he says vaguely, and it’s luck that Eggsy walks in then, before Mumbles can ask any more questions. Merlin lifts his eyes up from Mumbles’ to just over his shoulder, making eye contact with Eggsy before motioning him over. Mumbles turns to look at the boy. Eggsy is wearing his old clothes. Tight jeans, a jacket, a snapback and flashy trainers. He looks _ridiculously_ young.

“Eggsy” Merlin greets, and Eggsy comes to stand next to him.

“Hey Archy” Eggsy replies with a genuine smile, before he looks around the table. Merlin goes about introducing them.

“Cookie, One Two, Fred, Mumbles and Handsome Bob”

He could see Eggsy looking over the group of people, only to stop short on Fred, eyes widening. He’s pretty sure he saw him do a double take.

“This is Eggsy” Merlin finishes.

“Hya Eggsy” Bob’s voice comes from Merlin’s right, dripping honey, as he extends his hand for Eggsy to take. And as Merlin looks over he can see the predatory glint in Bob’s eyes. He should have seen this coming, should have been prepared for this, but he’s not. And he can do nothing but watch as Eggsy shakes his hand, and Bob holds on a little too long for his taste. The two have not broken eye contact, and it’s doing something to Merlin. A low growl leaves him, under his breath and unbidden, but Eggsy’s head snaps back to him all the same, even if he’s still holding Bob’s hand. Merlin makes eye contact with Eggsy for a second before turning back to his cards.

“Archy says you’re old friends” Mumbles mentions, still suspicious. Eggsy releases Bob’s hand and moves to stand closer to Merlin, before he puts a hand on his right shoulder.

“Tha’ all he said?” Eggsy says, a smile in his voice and his old accent strong, and Merlin can’t help but look up at him. Eggsy looks down at him, a warm look in his eyes, and Merlin feels that flutter again. ‘ _This is not going to end well_ ’

Eggsy slides his hand from Merlin’s right shoulder to his left, as he leans forward to rearrange the cards in Merlin’s hand, and the way he moves and the air around him suggest that maybe they’re _more_ than old friends. Merlin has no idea what Eggsy is doing, so all he can do is keep a straight face, as he waits for the boy’s next move.

“Yeah” Mumbles says, dropping his cards a little as he looks at the display before him.

Eggsy straightens, but keeps his hand on Merlin’s left shoulder, his own left hip leaning against Merlin’s right shoulder, and he’s relaxed as he levels Mumbles with a look.

“Then, yeah. We’re _old_ friends” he says with a smirk. Everyone is looking at Merlin now, and he tries to keep his cool as he looks back at them, daring them to say anything. One Two has to open his mouth, of course.

“I eh… I didn’t know you eh… _Had_ that kind of eh… _Relations_ , Archy” it’s formulated carefully, the man’s eye shifting to Bob a couple of times throughout, and if the situation hadn’t been so stressful for Merlin, he would have laughed.

“And now you _do_ ” Merlin replies simply, as he lowers his cards and leans back a little, into Eggsy, and looks back at One Two. The man looks at him before nodding and turning back to his cards. Mumbles looks a moment longer, before giving a non-specific grunt as he turns back to his cards as well. Merlin can feel Bob still looking at him so he turns to look back, only to see him looking at _Eggsy_ , who is very cheekily looking back. Merlin clears his throat to get Bob’s attention, and an apologetic smile comes over his face, as he holds his hands up in surrender, before glancing at Eggsy one more time before turning back to his cards. Merlin looks up at Eggsy to see the same cheeky smile on his face, as the hand still on his shoulder gives a soft squeeze.

“Well I’m happy for you, Arch” Cookie pipes up, and Fred nods at that.

“Yeah, I was afraid you was gonna be alone for the rest of your life, Archy” Fred says, honestly. Merlin could feel Eggsy tense when Fred started speaking, but a quick glance at this face reveals nothing.

“Thanks, lads. Now play your damn hand, so we can deal Eggsy in”

They shuffle around a little, and Eggsy ends up on Merlin’s left, between him and Cookie. Mumbles keeps shooting him suspicious looks, and Bob just keeps stealing glances, but all in all everything goes fine. Eggsy, of course, turns out to be a really good poker player - though Merlin is pretty sure he’s cheating - but he keeps tensing up whenever Fred speaks. Not very noticeable, but enough for Merlin to get concerned. They play two hands before Merlin’s mobile rings.

“Excuse me” he says, leaving the table. It’s Johnny, wanting him at some address to collect some overdue money. He hangs up and turns back to the table.

“Sorry boys, duty calls” he says and looks at Eggsy, debating what he should do with him.

“You can leave him here, we’ll look after him. He’s a good player” if _anyone_ but Bob had suggested it, he might have _actually_ left Eggsy behind in The Speeler to do his work. _However_.

“I’m not leaving him here with you” he says, straight faced, and motions for Eggsy to follow him.

“We might be back tomorrow” he says as an afterthought, needing Eggsy to be in good with the boys. They might need them later on.

“Was nice meeting you. _And_ beating you” Eggsy says with a wink as he follows Merlin out the door. They make their way to Merlin’s car, and as he’s plugging in the destination, Eggsy addresses him.

“Shouldn’t I have stayed in there? Get a bit of information?”

Eggsy’s right of course, but the thought of leaving him there with Bob didn’t sit right with him. And it’s not like he didn’t like Bob, Bob’s a good man, but the thought that Bob could _win over_ Eggsy, well that was another story. But he can’t let Eggsy know this, so he decides to ignore the boy’s question all together.

“Where do I drop you off?”

“What do you mean?” Eggsy sounds genuinely confused and Merlin looks at him.

“I have to go to work, so where do I drop you off?” he explains, and furrows his brows a bit when Eggsy does the same.

“I’m coming with you”

“What? No” he tries to stay calm.

“ _Yes_ . We need information, don’t we? Proof of things” he says, as he taps his glasses. And Merlin _knows_ he’s right, but he doesn’t want Eggsy to see this side of him. This side that had gotten a bit too easy to fall back into. But he can’t say that either, not without explaining exactly _why_ , so he concedes.

“Yea’, alrigh’. You’re probably gonna have to stay in the car though” he grumbles and Eggsy chuckles.

“It’s gonna take me some time to get used to your accent, Merlin”

Merlin looks at him for a moment, before putting the car in gear and getting on the road. Eggsy starts to fiddle with the radio, going through about a dozen stations and driving Merlin up the wall before he finds one he likes and leans back. It’s then that Merlin turns to Eggsy.

“What’s yer problem with Fred?”

Eggsy tenses up again and doesn’t look at Merlin.

“Nothing” he mumbles. Merlin glances at him as they stop at a red light.

“It’s not nothing” he presses and Eggsy takes his glasses off for a moment, muting the device.

“It’s just… He looks an _awful_ lot like Dean did” he explains on a near inaudible mumble and Merlin understands.

Dean hadn’t survived V-Day. The man may have been big and strong, but he hadn’t been fast enough.

“Fred’s a good man. And you’re with me now, so he’ll never hurt ya. None of em will” Merlin tells him, and Eggsy looks at him then, something calculating in his eyes.

“You don’t mind?” comes the tentative question, and it’s the tone of it that has Merlin looking over to him. Eggsy is still looking at him the same way, but there’s something about him. He looks nervous.

“Mind what?” he honestly has no idea what he’s on about.

“Having them think we’re together” he explains, and Merlin keeps looking at the road. Does he mind having people think they’re together? On some level, yes. He would much rather actually _be_ with Eggsy then having it be pretend. But in the greater scheme of things, definitely no.

“No. Having people think you’re my lover, keeps you safe. I still have a status in this world, and it means people won’t mess with me. And now by extension, you” Merlin answers as they stop at another red light. It felt weird calling the boy his lover, especially because the boy _wasn’t_. The look on the boy’s face tells Merlin that it was not the answer he was looking for, but it’s a fleeting look and it’s replaced by a relieved smile seconds later.

“Oh good”

They don’t talk for the rest of the car ride.

The address they arrive at is a nice enough looking house. Normal street. Normal people. Merlin tells Eggsy to stay in the car while he handles this, and he is in and out in under fifteen minutes with an envelope filled with cash.

“The guy just gave this to you?” Eggsy asks as he thumbs through the bills, it’s a lot of money.

“Yes”

“You rang his doorbell, asked him for the money, and he gave it to ya?” Eggsy asks again, his voice a mixture of awe and disbelief.

“Yes”

“How?” he’s closed the envelope now, and has turned in his seat to look at Merlin.

“It’s my job. And I’m good at it” Merlin replies, not looking at him.

“Your job?” there’s a raised eyebrow now, Merlin can hear it.

“Yes” it comes out on a sigh. He’s getting fed up with playing 20 Questions.

“Your job is to collect money from people?”

Merlin rubs his temple, the boy is giving him a headache.

“Yes, boy! My job is to collect money from people that don’t wanna pay. My job is to get information from people that don’t wanna _give_ information. My job is to do whatever the _fuck_ needs to be done. Got it? Now enough with the questions” he snaps.

He didn’t mean to snap. He never snaps. He has a very firm lid on his emotions, thank you very much, and this is _not_ like him. He chances a glance at Eggsy, and is shocked by what he sees. The boy is pressed up against the door, wide eyed, breath held. He looks scared. Scared of him. No, not of _him_ . Of _Archy_. Because this behaviour isn’t Merlin.

“Eggsy. I’m…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at ya” he says as he pulls the car into a parking spot and turns towards Eggsy.

“Truly, I am so sorry” he continues as he rubs his temple again, “This job.. This… This _role_ it… It takes a lot from me, and I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

He can’t really find the words to say, but it appears the ones he found are enough for the boy, as Eggsy reaches for his hand.

“I understand, Merlin. You’ve been this completely different guy for 20 years, and now you gotta be him _again_. It’s bound to fuck you up a little. It’s okay. I just… weren’t expecting it is all” he finishes with a smile and a squeeze to Merlin’s hand. Merlin looks down at their hands for several long seconds before looking back at Eggsy, and giving him a nod. Eggsy releases his hand with an answering nod, and Merlin steers the car back into traffic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the joke in this is that Geoff Bell (the actor) plays Dean in Kingsman, and Fred in RocknRolla, so you know, that's the whole 'double take "looks an awful lot like"' deal... I thought it was funny. Nevermind.
> 
> We get to see more of Archy here, I think I've made him a bit too aggresive, but it works for the story, so deal with it ( I'm sorry, though)
> 
> Song: Counting stars by OneRepublic


	8. Counting bodies like sheep....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, we got some serious violence in this chapter.

“I like your boy, Arch. He knows what’s right an’ wrong, don’t he?” Johnny says casually, ever present cigarette dangling from his lips, as he leans back in his chair. He was addressing Merlin, but he was looking at Eggsy.

“’Course he does” Merlin replies just as casually.

Eggsy had been around for about three weeks now, and he’d seamlessly fitted into the group. Had even been along with Mumbles and One Two on a couple of grabs. But whenever _Archy_ had a job, he’d made sure the boy stayed outside, or in the car or _somewhere_ far away. And it had worked out perfectly in the past weeks. But all that was about to change.

“I got a job for ya, Arch” Johnny says then, leaning forward in his chair, folding his hands together. Merlin simply arches an eyebrow in questioning.

“Nicky hasn’t paid” he says by way of explanation, and to Merlin it _is_ enough explanation.

“Alright” he says as reply, and he’s ready to go then and there, but Johnny’s next words have him halting.

“Take your boy, show him how we _really_ work” Johnny makes a vague motioning gesture towards Eggsy, and Eggsy looks between Johnny and Merlin.

“You sure about that, John?” Merlin asks, and he wonders why he’s not more concerned.

“Yeah of course. I wanna see how he handles himself. Bennie, you go with ‘em, eh?” he says, half turning to Bennie in the corner. The man in question, big and burly, slowly steps forward.

“Sure thing, Johnny”

Merlin turns to look at the man before looking at Eggsy. The boy looks sure of himself, and sends Merlin a small smile.

“Thanks for the opportunity, Mr Quid” he says earnestly, and Merlin smirks to himself. The boy may not be so sure of himself once this is over.

They get the address, and before long they’re on their way. Bennie drives, with Merlin riding shotgun, and Eggsy in the backseat, fiddling with his mobile.

“So, we just have to get the money, yeah? Sounds easy enough” Eggsy pipes up, still on his mobile. Bennie turns to look at Merlin and they smirk at each other.

“Sure, kid. Easy enough” Bennie says on a chuckle. Eggsy looks up for a second, looking between the two men, before turning back to his phone.

The address is across town, and what with traffic it takes a bit to get there. It’s a nice looking house, small garden, white picket fence and all, and Merlin almost feels bad for disturbing its peaceful façade. _Almost_.

Merlin walks up the steps to the house, Bennie at his back and Eggsy somewhere to his left. He waits a few seconds as they stand on the steps, looking the street up and down, before ringing the doorbell. It takes a moment, but a young woman opens the door, looking from Merlin to Bennie to Eggsy.

“Yes? Can I help you?” she turns questioning eyes to Merlin.

“Well hello there. We’re looking for Nick? We’re old friends, he told us to come over?” Merlin replies in a sweet voice, putting on a charming smile.

“Oh he’s not home yet, I’m expecting him any minute” the girl replies, seemingly flustered. Merlin leans forward a little, getting closer to her without crowding her.

“Ooh well that’s too bad. Do you mind if we wait here, ‘till he gets here?” the honey sweet tone has her giggling, and Merlin knows he’s in. ‘ _Too easy_ ’

“Well, I suppose that would be okay. Come in” she steps aside to let the men in.

She leads them through the hallway into the living room, a cozy little thing and she motions for them to take a seat. Eggsy takes the wooden stool near the window, and Bennie stands to the side, waiting on Merlin. Merlin motions for the girl to have a seat, and when she sits down on the couch, Merlin goes to sit beside her.

“So what’s your name, sweetheart?” Merlin asks her then.

“Sophia” the young woman smiles, a lovely smile really.

“Sophia.. That’s a pretty name. Well Sophia, my name is Archy” the mention of his name makes her eyes widen slightly and her smile falter, and her eyes shift to Bennie and Eggsy quickly.

“Oh, these are my associates; Bennie and Eggsy” he tells her, pointing from one to the other. Sophia turns fearful eyes to Merlin as she waits for him to get to the point. Smart girl.

“You seem like a lovely girl. Nice smile, pretty dress, lovely little house. We just want to ask Nick a question, and we’ll be right on our way again” Merlin tells her, his tone both neutral and soothing, and Sophia nods at him as tears fill her eyes. Merlin looks at Bennie then and makes a motioning gesture and the man moves to pull a chair from the table and places it in the middle of the room, before moving to sit on Sophia’s other side.

They hear a car pull up then, and a few moments later the rattle of the doorknob as it’s wrangled open by Nick, who calls out a ‘hello’ to Sophia. The man stops short in the doorway to the living room, seeing his beloved girlfriend in between Bennie and Merlin.

“A-Archy. What eh…what are you doin’ here?” the man is nervous, rightly so, as he looks around the room.

“Sit down, Nicky” is all Merlin says motioning to the chair, but Nick just stands looking at Sophia. Merlin tilts his head when the man doesn’t comply, and he places his left hand on Sophia’s knee.

“Nicky, baby. Li-listen to the man” Sophia says, the first tear spilling from her eyes, a hitch in her voice.

The words bring Nick into motion, walking towards the chair in the centre of the room. He sits down, cautiously, not taking his eyes off of Merlin.

“Arch..-” the man starts, but Merlin interrupts him.

“Where’s the money, Nick?” Merlin keeps his voice neutral and calm, he’d noticed it was most effective in these kinds of situations.

A confused look comes over Nick’s face, as he looks from Merlin to Bennie.

“What money?”

“The money you owe Johnny” Merlin explains, voice still painfully neutral. Nick still looks confused, and he shakes his head a little. Merlin looks from Bennie to Eggsy, before standing up with a sigh, and he walks the three steps to Nick’s chair. He can feel Eggsy’s eyes follow him, obviously wondering what he’s about to do. He stands looking at Nick for a few long seconds, the man looking up at him with something akin to fear in his eyes, before Archy’s hand shoots out, the back of his right hand connecting painfully with the side of Nick’s face. The smack resounds around the room, pulling a scared hitch from Sophia.

“Nick..” the girl sobs, and Archy can hear Bennie shushing her.

“Now…” Archy continues, “Let’s try this again, yea?”

Nick looks back up at him.

“Archy, I’m telling you, I don’t kno..-” another slap stops him mid-sentence, and Archy leans forward so he’s face to face with the man.

“Stop lying to me” he growls, already getting fed up with the man.

“I wouldn’t lie to you, Arch, you know that” Nick says, rubbing the side of his face. Archy’s face pulls down in a frown, and another growl escapes him.

“The money” two simple words, but the threat behind them is audible. Nick turns fearful eyes to Eggsy, and Archy follows his gaze, looking at the boy as well.

“The boy is not goina help ya, Nicky” he tells him, but Nick keeps looking at him. Archy’s left eye pinches closed, as he looks between Eggsy and Nick a couple of times, before his right fist comes out and punches Nick square in the face. Blood spurts from Nick’s mouth, and a small trickle of it dribbles from his nose down his chin. Eggsy draws back as though _he_ has been the one that has been punched, and a small squeak comes from Sophia. Archy grabs Nick by the hair and pulls his face towards his own.

“The boy is _mine_ , Nick”

“I-I… I wasn’t…” Nick tries as he shakes his head, but the next fist catches him in the ribs.

“You _were_ ” the growl is permanent in Archy’s voice now, emotions bubbling up as another punch is dealt.

“Please stop!” Sophia calls from the couch, a hand from Bennie on her arm the only thing keeping her seated. Archy turns to her, pointing a finger.

“ _You_ , shut up” he snaps at the girl.

Eggsy is spurred into action at that.

“Me..- _Archy_..” he tentatively says, before Archy rounds on him, eyes blazing.

“ _You_ , sit down”

Eggsy hadn’t even fully stood up, before slowly sinking down in his seat again, eyes wide. Archy turns back to Nick.

“ _You_ , start talking”

The man coughs and wheezes a little, before looking up at Archy.

“I… I don’t…. ” he shakes his head again, and Archy is _done_. He straightens up and pulls his gun from his waistband, before cocking it and aiming it at Nick.

“I don’t have time for this, Nick. Tell me where the money is, or I’ll shoot” the growl was out of his voice, but it makes the words no less threatening. And Nick gulps at the sight of the gun. If Archy had looked at Eggsy, he would have seen him holding onto his chair with a white knuckled grip.

“Arch, Archy… Please. I don’t know what you’re talking about” come the scrambled words, laced with panic and urgency, as his hands come up in a pleading gesture. It only causes Archy to sigh and roll his eyes, as he turns and aims the gun at Sophia.

“Wanna try that again?”

“Please, no!” comes Sophia’s sobbed gasp, as tears and snot stream down her face freely now, Bennie’s grip on her arm tightening.

“Arch!” Nick calls out simultaneously, pure terror in his voice, as his hand shoots out to grab Archy’s gun, but missing completely as Archy’s other hand pushes him back in his chair.

“Archy!” that was Eggsy, a mixture of disbelieve and fear in his voice, and when Archy looks at him, it’s portrayed on his face as well. It almost does something to Archy, but he simply looks at the boy a moment longer before turning his eyes back to Nick.

“So, Nick”

Nick looks from Archy to Sophia to the gun, eyes huge and fearful. Sophia couldn’t stop crying even if she’d wanted to, and Archy is running out of patience.

“Three”

Sophia gasps and cries harder.

“Nick! Tell him what he wants to know!!” she’s becoming hysterical at this point.

“Two”

Sophia tries to get away then, struggling to free herself from Bennie’s grip, but the woman is no match for him.

“Nick!!” she cries as she tries to punch and scratch her way out of the grasp.

“One”

“Nick!!!” the screaming is getting louder and the struggling more intense, as Archy turns one last look at Nick.

“Very well” he announces as he shrugs and puts his finger on the trigger.

“Wait!” Nick’s voice cuts through everything at that moment, and Sophia falls silent, safe for a few hiccups. Archy's finger stays on the trigger as he looks back at Nick, whose head is hung and shaking minutely.

“The money…” he starts, mumbling in his chest.

“Speak up” Archy coaxes, voice taunting. Nick looks up at him, eyes burning with anger.

“The money is under a loose floorboard in the hallway”

Archy looks between Nick and Sophia.

“Now, was that so hard?” his tone is mocking as he looks back at Bennie.

“Bennie? If you please…?” he motions to the hallway, and as Bennie gets up Sophia tries to as well.

“Nuhuh, you stay put” Archy tells her, still pointing the gun at her. She sits down with an angry look towards both Archy and her boyfriend. Archy just gives her a wink before turning his head towards the hallway.

“Anything Bennie?” he calls out, looking at Nick when Bennie answers.

“Nothing”

Nick’s eyes get wider as he looks up at Archy.

“Arch!”

“Too bad” Archy says with a supposed sympathetic tilt of his head as he looks back at Sophia and pulls the trigger. A sharp inhale comes from her, as she looks down to the slowly growing red spot on her abdomen, her pretty blue dress darkening by the second, ruined.

Bennie walks back in then, with a broken floorboard in his hand, as he slowly comes to stand next to Archy.

“It was there, Archy. I swear” Nick is crying by now, shaking his head as he looks up at the men, who look at each other for a moment, before Archy gives Bennie a small nod. A grin breaks out over Bennie’s face then, a filthy one, as he brings the floorboard down on Nick’s face. Repeatedly.

Archy moves to sit down next to Sophia, who crawls into the side of the couch, trying to get away from the man. Archy crosses his legs and balances the gun on his knee before turning to her.

“Now, Sophia. I _know_ the man just got you shot. And I know that could be a deal breaker in most relationships. But, do you see Bennie?” he starts, motioning to Bennie who has abandoned the floorboard and is now wailing in on Nick with his fists, “That is a strong man. A _very_ strong man. You really want him to beat Nick within an inch of his life?”

Sophia looks from him to Nick and back, tears silently falling, her hand clutching the bullet wound. She casts a glance at Eggsy then for a second, before looking back at Archy.

“No” she says softly, with a shake of her head.

“No” Archy repeats after her.

A crack and a sharp cry is heard then from Nick and Sophia nearly breaks her neck what with the speed she turns her head to look at him.

“Please. Please stop” she pleads and Archy tilts his head again.

“Then tell me what I want to know” he tells her calmly, accentuating each word with a motion from the hand holding the gun. Sophia’s eyes widen minutely, before casting one last glance at Nick, whose head was being pulled up by his hair by Bennie, showcasing his bloody and broken face to her.

“The money… Is in a jar in the kitchen. The top shelf of the upper left cabinet” she says softly and Archy turns his eyes to Bennie, motioning with his head towards the kitchen. Bennie lets go of Nick’s hair, the head falling limply to his chest, as he moves to the kitchen. A rattling sound comes from the kitchen then, as Bennie most likely swiped the cabinet empty in search for the jar. He comes back a few moments later with it in his hands, pulling out a few wads of cash to show to Archy, before handing him the whole jar.

“Well” Archy starts as he gets up from the couch, and looks between Nick and Sophia, “Thank you for your cooperation. We’ll see ourselves out”

And with that he turns and walks towards the front door. He hears Bennie behind him calling the boy to come along, and before long they are back in the car. Bennie behind the wheel, Archy riding shotgun and Eggsy in the back seat.

He counts the money as Bennie drives them back to Johnny’s place, Eggsy eerily still in the backseat; the boy hasn’t even taken out his mobile.

“It’s short” Archy says out loud and Bennie casts a glance at him.

“How much?”

“About three large ones” Archy mumbls, rolling the bills up and putting them back in the jar.

“Means we gotta pay em another visit” Bennie replies casually, as he effortlessly navigates the streets of London.

The drive back seems somehow shorter and it isn’t long before they were standing before Johnny, the jar sitting inconspicuously on the desk. Bennie has taken his place back at Johnny’s side and Archy and Eggsy stand in front of the desk. Archy can feel the nervous energy coming off the boy, but he’s made no comment.

“All went well?” Johnny asks then, looking between the two men.

“Yeah, nothing we couldn’t handle” Archy replies, giving a small shrug. Johnny looks at Eggsy then, who meets his gaze but says nothing. He leans forward then, leaning his elbows on the desk as he looks at Archy again.

“Do I have to send a clean-up crew?” he asks, suggestion heavy in his voice. Bennie chuckles at that and Archy laughs, feeling Eggsy flinch at his side.

“No need for a clean-up. They’ll be right as rain by themselves” Archy says with a chuckle. Johnny motions at the jar.

“Money all there?” and his eyes shoot to Eggsy when the boy flinches again and Johnny raises an eyebrow. Archy casts a quick glance at the boy, before answering.

“Missing a couple of large ones, we’ll go round to collect them later on”

Johnny nods at that, leaning back in his chair again, before dismissing the two men. Archy turns and motions for Eggsy to move, and they leave the office. Archy pulls out his mobile to check some things as they walk back towards the car, Eggsy at his elbow not saying a word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the moment where I admit that this was my favourite chapter to write (I wonder what that says about me).  
> It was originally a lot longer, so I cut it in two. So press that button for Next Chapter, to find out what happens next (I'll also tell you the song in the next end notes, because the title for the next chapter is a continuation of the lyric)


	9. ....to the rhythm of the war drums

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter with the non-con. I'm sorry, there is no way to skip it. There's also still a little violence.

The car ride back to Archy’s place was quiet, on the verge of being uncomfortable, but if the boy wasn’t gonna talk then neither was Archy. It didn’t bother him all that much anyway, he liked things quiet. That was until they’d been home for more than an hour and the boy still hadn’t said a word. The boy was watching his every move though, and was radiating an energy that was getting on Archy’s nerves.

“You ever gonna say anything again?” Archy asked finally, getting fed up with the boy.

Eggsy looked at him from his spot on the couch.

“You gonna slap me if I don’t?” it was challenging, and filled with disgust. Archy could feel his eyebrow twitch.

“You gonna comment on how I do my job now?” Archy asked, crossing his arms over his chest, staring the boy down.

“Your _job_?” Eggsy snapped back, getting up off the couch and moving in Archy’s direction.

“Yes, boy. My job” he was having fun pushing the kid’s buttons.

“You threatening, and torturing and _shooting_ people, is your ‘job’?” Eggsy’s voice was rising in both octave and volume, an angry flush was rising high on his gorgeous cheekbones. Archy grinned at that.

“Yes”

He’d pushed those buttons too hard, too fast.

“Don’t you know how bad this is!? I have this on camera! It’s on file now! You, _torturing_ people!” Eggsy is nearly screaming his head off, and Archy could feel a headache coming up.

“It’s not like it’s the first time, boy, so stop yer whining” Archy snapped, and Eggsy’s mouth clicked shut.

“What did you just say to me?” there’s a challenging tone in his voice, and Archy looked at him, one eyebrow raised as he walks towards the boy.

“Don’t you use that tone with me, _boy_ ” he scoffs.

“I’ll use wha’ever tone I like with you, cause you’re spinnin’ out of control” Eggsy shoots back, anger in his eyes and a frown on his face.

“Spinning out of control?” a dark chuckle leaves Archy at that, as he crosses his arms again, “ _Do_ tell me how I’m spinning out of control”

“Besides the fact that yer totally _getting_ _off_ on torturing people, you also fucking punched a man for looking at me” Eggsy growls, levelling him with a glare.

“He shouldn’t’ve done that” Archy simply says, giving a nonchalant one shoulder shrug.

“I don’t belong to you!” Eggsy shouts, and something snaps in Archy at those words.

“Yes you do!” he growls back, as his right hand shoots out, the back of it connecting harshly with Eggsy’s right cheek, before he’s stepping into Eggsy’s personal space to claim his lips in an aggressive kiss. The boy tries to push him away, he can feel the intent as his hands land on his chest, but Archy doesn’t budge as he moves his left hand to the boy’s hair. Archy grips the boy’s hair and yanks, and a small yelp leaves Eggsy’s already swollen lips.

“You’re mine, boy” he growls millimetres from Eggsy’s lips, before claiming them again. He bites into the plump lower lip and as the lips part Archy shoves his tongue between them.

The boy tries to push him away again, with renewed vigour, but to no avail, Archy is stronger than him. Eggsy managed to wrangle his mouth away from Archy and after taking in a quick breath tries to get Archy to stop.

"Please, stop" the boy’s voice has turned from angry to pleading.

But Archy was having none of it, the boy needed to know his place. So he clamped a hand over his mouth as he pushed him against the wall. He used the hand to shove the boy’s head to the side so he could have access to his neck. Archy moved his lips over the expanse of skin, nibbling here and there, worrying the skin between his teeth, leaving marks. His other hand moved to the boy’s side, working its way under layers of clothing to touch the smooth, warm skin underneath. He caressed the boy’s side, moving his thumb under the waistband of the joggers a little before moving over top to cup the prominent bulge, giving it a firm squeeze.

Whatever response the boy had to that action was muffled by the hand still clamped over his mouth, but the effort to push Archy away was renewed, and Archy had a hard time holding on. So he manoeuvred the boy around, and pushed him face first into the wall, before plastering his front to the boys back. The new position didn't allow for his hand to still be over the boy’s mouth, so it found a new place at the boy’s side. His right hand moved back under the clothing, running over the flat stomach before moving down. But before it could slip beneath the waistband, Eggsy spoke.

"Please stop" it was a whimper, and the next words were said on a sob, desperation clear in his voice.

"Please, Merlin, stop"

It was the mention of his name that gave Archy pause. No, not _Archy_ . He wasn't Archy. He was _Merlin_. He shook his head as he stepped away from Eggsy, who took the opportunity to turn around and plaster himself to the wall.

Merlin looked at the boy, who had tears streaming down his face, his eyes glassy and he was shaking a little. His cheek was red from where he’d been hit, just under the rim of his glasses, and his clothing and hair were askew. But most of all the boy looked scared. Merlin was responsible for that. _Would_ have been responsible for a whole lot more had the boy not pulled him back from the dark place his mind had gone.

"Oh my God" it came out broken as he stepped away from the boy.

"Oh God... Eggsy... I... I am so sorry" he couldn't look at the boy as his legs gave out and he landed on the edge of the sofa. He placed his head in his hands, thinking of the things he had done to the boy, of the things he was about to do to the boy and he felt physically sick.

"I'm _so_ so sorry" he spoke into his hands, no idea if the boy could hear him, if he even _wanted_ to hear him, but he needed to say it.

He knew taking on this mission had been a mistake, and now he had hurt the one person he had never wanted to hurt. 

He was startled when he felt tentative hands on his, pulling them away from his face, and Merlin looked up to seeing Eggsy sit on the floor before him. The boy looked equal parts cautious and determined and the gentle touch of his hands was grounding.

"Merlin" he simply said, and Merlin could feel his eyes fill up and spill over. Eggsy shuffled forward and engulfed Merlin in a hug. He clung to the boy as he turned his head in his neck, letting himself cry, Eggsy’s hoodie absorbing the tears as Eggsy simply held him. An anchor in this wild sea of emotions. A buoy to cling to.

He had no idea how long they stayed like that, but Merlin cried until he could no more and the first tears had already dried. He pulled away from the boy and he looked at him. There were tears, un-spilled, in the boy’s eyes as he looked at him. And Merlin took the boy’s face in his hands.

"I am so sorry I did that to you, please believe me" he pleaded and Eggsy nodded.

"I do, I do...I..- It weren't you" he said, placing his own hands over Merlin’s, moving them from his face as he sat down on the floor, Merlin realising the boy’s knees must have been hurting from the position he’d been in. The boy stretched his legs out before pulling his knees to himself, putting his arms around them, hugging them as he looked up, and he looked so _young._ Merlin knew he had to come clean about some things.

"I uh... I was afraid something like this would happen..." he started, looking down at his own hands as though they were foreign to him, "Me losing myself in Archy... It happened the last time too"

"Of course it did. Pretending to be someone else for 20 years?! Of course yer gonna become him" Eggsy interjected.

"But it was _more_ than that. I didn't just lose myself in Archy, I completely _forgot_ me. It was as though _I_ had never existed. Chester had seen it happen, but he never pulled me out. Let it happen, for the sake of the mission"

"Fucking prick" Eggsy growled.

"I put it behind me, eventually. Took me the better part of five years, but I did... But it was too easy to fall back into him. It scared me how easy it was, how good it felt" and it had felt good, being on this side of the law again.

"I'm just sorry you had to see _this_ _side_ of Archy"

He looked up then, at Eggsy, to try and convey his feelings and meaning. He was _really_ sorry.

"This side? It… I’m not the first…?" Eggsy asked then, a nervous glint to his eyes. Merlin cast his eyes down, shame washing over him in one big wave.

“No… No yer not… Archy has… _I_ have… in the past... Archy has always been a possessive lover…” he couldn’t get the words out right, and he could feel his throat close around the bile trying to rise up.

“You’ve…?” the tentative word had him looking back up, and the look on Eggsy’s face, eyes wide with shock, made Merlin sick to his stomach, but he feels he _has_ to get the words out. Has to tell Eggsy.

“I’ve claimed” he manages, and the sharp intake of breath from Eggsy feels like a punch to the gut. He chances a glance at Eggsy’s face, and the boy looks troubled. Eyes wide, but brows drawn, the mark on his cheek darkening, and the flush that had been on his face is slowly receding. He looks beautiful. Exactly how Archy likes them.

Merlin shakes his head at that. He needs to get out, needs to leave.

“I’ll… I’ll leave. To give you space…I eh... I’ll be back tomorrow” he says, as he looks around for his keys and wallet. He can feel Eggsy looking at him, but the boy only moves when Merlin shrugs into his coat.

“Merlin… You don’t have to go” he says, but his voice is uncertain and small, and Merlin hates it.

“No, I do” Merlin says as he turns to look at him as he places his hand on the doorknob. He looks the boy over one last time, before opening the door. Some part of him hopes the boy will follow him out, to stop him from leaving, but as he starts the car he can see the boy standing in the doorway, making no move to come after him.

Merlin feels horrible. He can’t believe something like this happened, can’t quite live with the look Eggsy gave him. He’s been driving around somewhat aimlessly, but as he becomes aware of his surroundings, he realises where he’s going. It’s a parking lot overlooking part of London. It’s quite peaceful, and peaceful is what he needs right now. He’s always enjoyed driving around the streets of London at night time. The usual hustle and bustle dampened by the curtain of night, the usual stress and excitement tampered down. There’s still people around, of course, because London doesn’t really sleep, but it’s quieter. Makes it easier to think. He comes along the parking lot, and is glad to see there’s no one there, and he parks his car along the edge.

He sits quietly for a few moments, just looking out the windshield, before he makes a move to get out. His mobile rings just before he does, and he riffles through his glovebox to get it. There’s only two people that have this number, and he knows which one is calling him.

“Harry” Merlin says by way of greeting and he is met with silence. He can’t tell if the man is angry with him or not, because Merlin _knows_ Harry knows what’s just happened.

“Is Eggsy alright?” Merlin asks after a few tense moments. He’s gotten out of the car now, and is leaning against the hood of his car, the November cold blowing through his jacket, settling deep in his bones.

“ _He will be_ ” comes Harry’s reply, and the man doesn’t sound angry, he sounds sympathetic.

“ _Are you?_ ”

Merlin has no idea how to answer that. _Is_ he alright? No, not really. Not at all actually. He’s just shown a side of himself to someone he’d never wanted to show it to in the first place. He’s sure he’s traumatized the boy.

“I…” Merlin starts, before taking a deep breath. He looks out over the city, the lights of the millions of lives milling about, clueless as to what’s happened. He wishes, not for the first time, that he hadn’t accepted the mission.

“ _I know you think you’ve hurt the boy_ ” Harry says then, and a wave of rage washes over Merlin.

“’Think?’ ‘ _Think?_ ’ I _know_ I’ve hurt the boy! You should have seen me! The things I did to him, the things I _wanted_ to do to him! I’ve hurt him alright!” his chest is heaving as he’s finished his rant, and Harry is silent for a few seconds, Merlin thinks he can even hear him sip tea.

“ _I did see_ ”

What?

“ _Eggsy still had his glasses on_ ” Harry clarifies, and Merlin forgets to breathe. It’s on record now. In his file. The things he’s done to Eggsy. He thinks he’s going to be sick.

“ _Breathe, Hamish. Breathe_ ” Harry’s voice sounds distant, but the calm of it helps him.

“ _I’ve deleted the footage_ ”

“You did what?”

Tampering with footage is a big no-no.

“ _I’m Arthur. Who’s going to reprimand me? Me?_ ” Harry tells him, amusement tinging his voice, and Merlin relaxes. Apparently there are some perks to being friends with the head of the table. But simply deleting the footage doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

“What do I do, Harry? How do I fix this?” Merlin pleads, running his hand over his head.

“ _I don’t know. But giving the boy some space was a good first step_ ” Harry tells him, and Merlin is immensely grateful for this man.

“Thank you, Harry”

“ _Yes, well.. Shall we try to_ not _let something like this happen again?_ ” Harry’s voice is stern in a friendly sort of way, and they both know that Merlin will do everything in his power to never hurt Eggsy again.

“Yes, let’s...” Merlin agrees anyway.

“ _Good. I did have a question or two for you at this point, regarding..-_ ” Harry starts, but Merlin has to cut him off, as his other mobile rings, _Archy’s_.

“I’m sorry, Harry. I have to call you back” he says before hanging up. Knows he’ll get an earful about that when he rings Harry back.

He doesn’t bother looking at the caller ID before answering, slipping his own mobile in his pocket.

“Yeah?”

“ _Uncle?_ ”

Merlin glances at his watch, it’s nearly 9.

“John? What’s going on?”

“ _I need you to run an errand for me_ ” Johnny tells him, suggestion heavy in his voice, and Merlin knows this is going to be a long night.

“Where am I going?”

“ _Come round the office, yer not going alone_ ” is what Johnny says before hanging up.

This was going to be a _very_ long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that someone would not hug someone after that someone just attacked them, but I needed it for the story, so I am sorry for the inaccuracy of this particular chapter. I don't make light off non-con, but I had to write it like this.
> 
> Song: Counting bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums by A Perfect Circle


	10. You end up feeling mostly dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We got uh, it's not violence, it's a mentioning of violence and we got injuries.

It was late, close to three in the morning when Archy stumbled back into his apartment. Johnny had given him a job, along with Bennie and some other bloke Archy couldn't _quite_ remember the name of. They were to go see about some rival gang, see about taking them out.

He’d driven back to the flat, after promising the boy some space, but he needed a few things before going to John’s. He’d changed his shirt and jacket and told Eggsy about the call, not really going into too much detail – no that he’d had any – and the boy had been adamant on coming with, but Merlin had been quick to stop him. Johnny had called _him_ , not them. So he'd told the boy no. ‘ _Stay at the flat, I'll be back as soon as possible_.’

The boy had hesitated for a second, seemingly wanted to say something and Merlin had waited, but in the end the boy had simply stuffed his hands in his pockets, scuffed his toe and wished him good luck.

That was 6 hours ago.

Archy groans as he clutches his side, his hand slipping a little on the warm liquid seeping through his shirt, as he struggles to get to the kitchen. He flicks on the overhead light, and quickly turns it off again when it nearly splits his head open; getting kicked in the head had _not_ been fun. He bends down to rummage through the cabinets looking for the first aid kit when he hears a rustling behind him. He stills his movements, and as he turns around he tugs his pistol out of his waistband, aiming it at whoever has the _fucking_ nerve to come after him in his own flat.

"Fucking hell. It's me!" Eggsy shouts, as he flicks on the overhead lighting before raising his hands, standing frozen in the doorway. Archy squints at him a moment before lowering his gun, leaning against the counter top, clutching his side.

"Jesus, what happened?” the boy asks as he rushes to Archy’s side, pulling aside Archy’s jacket and looking at the growing stain in his side.

“Shit, did you get shot?” there is panic in the boy’s voice and Archy looks at him, focusing on the boy’s face. It’s taught in concentration, but there’s panic in his eyes, along with concern. It moves a flutter through Archy. Or that was just the adrenalin.

“Stabbed” Archy mumbles as the boy slowly removes the jacket before pushing him into a chair. The overhead light is killing him, so he squints a little, as he tries to take off his shirt, his wet, trembling fingers slipping on the little buttons. His vision keeps going out of focus so he shakes his head a little to try and get it back, but the motion just hurts his head, and a groan leaves him as he pushes the palm of his right hand to his temple.

There is a hand over his then, and as he opens his eyes he can see the boy kneeling in front of him, looking at him with big eyes. His lips are moving, but Archy can’t hear a single word he says, so he squeezes his eyes shut for a second. It seems to help with the headache, and he slaps the boy’s hand away to continue loosening his buttons.

“M fine” he mumbles, or he thinks he did, he isn’t sure.

“Like _hell_ you are” the boy snaps. He _had_ said it then. The boy’s hands cover his and Archy is getting a little fed up, turning a glare on the kid.

“Don’t you _dare_ look at me like that! Have you seen yerself? Yer bleeding everywhere, ye can’t keep yer eyes open and yer hands are shaking. Let me help you…” the kid had started of angry, but by the end of it he’s almost pleading and Archy knows he’s right. But he doesn’t like showing weakness.

“It’s not weak to ask for help” Eggsy says then, as though reading Archy’s mind, and he silently looks at the boy for a few seconds before nodding slowly.

"Can ye turn the overhead off?" he asks and the boy raises his eyebrows.

"Wha’?" the kid asks, leaning closer and Archy realises that he hadn't spoken loud enough. So he tries again.

"The overhead" he starts, motioning vaguely to the ceiling, "my head…" he trails off, hoping the kid will understand. And he does.

"Oh..." Eggsy says, getting up and turning off the light, before clicking on the stove light. It provides enough light without actively hurting Archy's eyes. The boy comes to sit in front of him again and starts to unbutton Archy's ruined shirt. He'd liked this one. Shame.

"Wha’ happened to yer head?" the boy asks, not looking up and Archy studies the top of the boy's head.

"Stopped a boot with it" he says lightly. Eggsy's head flies up at that.

"You wha’?!" he shouts and apologizes immediately when Archy winces at the volume. The boy had placed his right hand on Archy's chest and the other at his temple, trying to soothe the pain away, and as Archy blinks a couple of times and refocuses on the boy, the kid seems to realise what he’s done and snags his hands away. A blush dusts his cheeks and neck, and he mumbles an apology before continuing with Archy’s shirt.

The boy takes the ruined shirt and chugs it in the general direction of the bin before riffling through the first aid kit, coming out with bandages and gauze. The boy stills however as he looked back at Archy, his eyes going wide as his mouth falls open a little. The eyes rove over the expanse of skin, halting on scars and tattoos and the blush gets more pronounced, settling high on the boy's cheeks. It’s a _good_ look.

"Yes?" Archy asks then, smirk in place, suggestion heavy in his voice and he can’t help but chuckle as the boy's eyes snap to his, the blush deepening.

"S-sorry" the boy stammers, shaking his head slightly as he turns to fill a bowl with water. He seems to be taking a few breaths, and Archy lest his eyes trail the boy's back. He’s wearing a tank top and some joggers, and they do _nothing_ to hide the strong body.

The kid turns then and seems to notice Archy looking at him, a bashful look coming to his eyes.

"I eh… You've eh…" the kid starts and Archy can see the conflict in his eyes before Eggsy shakes his head, clearing it, and speaking much more confidently.

"You've lost a lot of blood" he continues as he kneels down, and wets a cloth to drag it over Archy’s abdomen, where he'd been stabbed. It pulls a hiss and a groan from Archy and the boy turns apologetic eyes to him. He cleans most of the blood away, but fresh blood keeps flowing from the cut.

"I think you need stitches" Eggsy says then and Archy assesses the wound. He might be right. He says as much.

"Yeah, I think yer right. Sewing kit's in there" he tells him, pointing at one of the cabinets. The kid blanches.

"Oh wait. Hang on. I don't… I've never…" he makes a vague motion, and Archy chuckles.

"Relax, kid. I'll do it meself. Just give it 'ere" he holds one hand out and Eggsy turns to grab the kit, but doesn't give it to him. Archy lifts an eyebrow.

"Go on" he says but the boy shakes his head. Archy drops his hand and sighs, rolls his eyes for good measure even though that just exacerbates the pain in his head.

"And why is that?" he growls, his head is killing him, his ribs are bruised _and_ he's been stabbed, he's _not_ in the mood for this.

"Hold yer hand out again" the kid says and Archy blinks at him. _What the…_

"Just do it" the kid presses and after rolling his eyes again, _and_ regretting it again, Archy holds out his hand. And sees the problem. It's shaking. Badly. He looks at the kid before nodding.

"Just tell me what to do" Eggsy says, sounding nervous, as he opens the kit.

"Clear the table" is the first thing Archy says as he slowly gets up from the chair, startling Eggsy a little.

"What? Why?" he sounds alarmed, so Archy steps a little _too_ close to him, just to mess with him, before almost whispering in his ear.

"This works better if I'm lying down" the rumble in his voice sends a visible shiver through the boy and Archy smirks.

Eggsy has to tilt his head a little to look at him when they're this close together, and Archy revels in the height difference. He likes it when his lovers are slightly shorter than he is, but being just over 6 feet, that is almost always a guarantee. He can see Eggsy's eyes lower a little, tracing his jaw and the beginning of his chest tattoo before snapping back up.

Eggsy moves around him then, clearing the few things off the table before leaving the room. Archy wonders where he's gone, but doesn’t have to wait long as the boy returns with a pillow and a couple of towels. He tosses the pillow on the table before laying out two towels.

He turns to Archy then and he can't help but look approvingly at the boy. He slowly moves towards the table and Eggsy actually has to help him get on it. _God he's getting old_.

He lies down, his head resting on the pillow, and he is immensely grateful the boy had thought of it. He hadn't even thought to get towels. Eggsy pulls up a chair then and puts the stitching kit in front of him on the table.

"What do I do?"

“Start with the gloves” Archy grumbles, and Eggsy immediately complies. The gloves come on, the forceps and the needle holder are fairly sterile, and the stitching kit is opened. Eggsy looks equal parts nervous and determent and Archy can’t help but smile.

The boy’s hand trembles slightly as he tries to push the needle in where Archy showed him, and because of it, the needle goes a little too deep, pulling a hiss from Archy. Eggsy apologizes immediately, but Archy is quick to reassure him that it’s fine. Eggsy tries again, and gets the needle in at a better angle, a small triumphant smile on his face. The smile leaves his face fairly quickly when he pulls the thread too hard trying to make the first knot, ripping the skin a little. Archy suppresses a groan, but he’s certain the boy heard it.

It takes two more tries before the boy is able to lay the three knots needed to complete a stitch, and as he moves to the second stitch, it comes easier to him. It takes a while before the entire wound is closed, but the boy does a good job, and the end result looks sort of alright.

Eggsy finishes by putting the bandage on, and presses to get the tape to stick, when his hands linger. Archy looks at him from where he’s somewhat reclined on the pillow, one hand behind his head, silent, relaxed, and he feels completely at ease with the boy.

The boy's hand traces an old scar, another stab wound, before his fingers curl up to the tattoo over his heart. An intricate Celtic knot. The finger traces the lines as the boy's eyes move to the text under it.

"What language is that?" the boy's voice is quiet, almost a whisper and Archy finds his response is said in much the same manner.

"It's Gaelic"

This has Eggsy looking up at him, his finger still absently trailing the knot.

"Gaelic" he mumbles, tries to mouth the words, but Archy can see he's failing miserably.

"How do you pronounce it?" he glances back up at Archy's face, eyes bright and Archy feels his heart skip a beat. Is sure the boy feels it too for his hand is still on his heart.

"Nuair a thig air duine thig air uile" he hasn't spoken Gaelic in years, decades almost, but it rolls off his tongue with ease. The boy's eyes had widened a little, and a smile ghosting over his lips.

"What's it mean?"

"'When it comes on one it comes on all"

He can see the boy repeating the words, thinking them over in his head, maybe trying to decipher the meaning behind them.

"How long have you had it?" the boy asks then and Archy has to think. He'd been about the kid's age when he'd got it, maybe a little younger.

"Thirty years or so" he settles on, can't quite remember the year right now and the boy's fingers are suddenly gone. Retracted as though he'd been burned. Archy furrows his brow as he sits up a little. Or tries to anyway, because his ribs protest at the movement. Violently.

"Fuck" he groans out as he falls back and Eggsy reaches out, hands hovering just above Archy's skin.

"Shit, Hamish, are you okay?" and the second the words leave his mouth, does it audibly click shut, as the kid turns huge eyes to him.

Merlin pushes himself up on his elbows, painful ribs be damned, and he notices the boy's hands moving with him, not touching his skin. He levels the boy with a look.

"What did you just call me?"

"I.. I'm sorry… I didn't…" the boy tries but fails to explain himself and Merlin pushes himself up completely, swings his legs over the edge of the table as he sits up straight. Eggsy tries to stop him, but the boy seems afraid to touch him now so there's not much he can do.

"How do you know that name?"

Eggsy bows his head, finds the sight of his socks to be far more interesting apparently.

"Eggsy? How do you know that name?" he asks gently. He's not angry with the boy, just really very curious. The boy slowly looks back up at him.

"Harry told me" comes the response, and Merlin should have known, but he _did_ get kicked in the head.

"When?" Merlin tilts his head a little, a mistake really as it pushes a flair of pain through it, but he grits his teeth. He wants Eggsy to talk. The boy seems to shrink in on himself a little though, crosses his arms over his chest and he takes a minute step back before he speaks.

"Eh…. Last night... After…after you left… he called" he says, voice unsteady, the events obviously still too fresh. He seems to steel himself, takes a deep breath before he continues.

"Harry called after you left. He uh.. He saw it all happen" Eggsy says, and he seems to brace himself for something, but Merlin already knew this. Harry had called him too after all.

"I know. He called me too" Merlin reassures him, and he can feel the relief coming off of Eggsy.

"Well he.. He told me that maybe there'd come a time that yer name, _Merlin_ , wouldn't work to.. To get you back.. So he.. He told me yer real name" Eggsy explains, blushing a little, as he fidgets with a loose string at the hem of his shirt.

Merlin blinks at him. On the one hand he was grateful, for both of them. Thinking ahead, thinking of everyone involved and all. But on the other hand... Harry thought he would get too deep. Would get so far gone that he wouldn't be able to come back. _That_ thought scared him. And it must have shown on his face because Eggsy moved forward, one hand outstretched, but he pulled it back before he could touch Merlin.

"I'm… I'm sorry.. I didn't.. Didn't wanna upset ya. I know it was hard on ya, I'm sorry I brought it all up"

"Oh, lad" Merlin said, shaking his head. This boy is too good for this world.

"I should be apologizing to you. For what I did to ye. Tried to do to ye" he shudders just thinking about it.

"Then why'd ya look so…" Eggsy trails off. _Scared._

"The thought of getting too deep again. It… frightens me" Merlin explains and a sympathetic look comes to Eggsy's eyes as the boy nods solemnly.

They're silent for a few seconds, each lost in their own thoughts, before the boy looks up at him.

"So… ye don't mind?" he asks carefully, and Merlin has to blink a couple of times to remember what they were talking about, and even then he's lost.

"What?"

"Me knowing yer name. Yer _real_ name" Eggsy explains, and Merlin looks at him.

"No. I don't mind" he says with a small smile, as his vision begins to swim a little. An answering smile comes to Eggsy's face then, but it slips off just as fast.

"H-Hamish?"

The boy's voice is far away all of a sudden even though he can see him standing right in front of him. He feels nauseous, and he's quite certain he needs to throw up. He tries to get off the table, tries to make for the toilet, but before he can so much as blink he's on the floor, the tiles cold under his palms, and hard under his knees. His stomach lurches then, and the contents of it ends up on the kitchen floor. He can feel sweat sliding down his back and he lies down, next to his own vomit, to feel the coldness of the floor. There's a face over him then, somewhat blurred, and he can't quite make out who it is. But the last thought that goes through his head is that they have the sweetest eyes he's ever seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am putting this poor man through Hell, I am sorry. And yes, I Googled how to stitch a wound, can you tell?
> 
> But this is what I've got so far, and I thought to share it with you. I'm working on finishing it, but knowing me it'll take another year and 10 chapters. But it's coming. I promise.
> 
> Song: Hospital by The Used.


	11. Face the firing squad, against all the odds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're all safe and healthy during this pandemic, and please people STAY.THE.FUCK.AT.HOME!
> 
> Anywho.
> 
> Churned out another chapter. Not much warnings for this one. None actually, aside from the coarse language.
> 
> For your consideration.

_It’s his last free night. At least for the next four years.  
  
_ _He looks out over the city, inhaling and exhaling deeply as he thinks about tomorrow. He shouldn’t have been surprised, should have known the informer would get around to him eventually. But he didn’t think it’d be now, and not for this long. 1461 days in an eight by ten cell. He breathes in again. Holds the breath until it burns his lungs before exhaling. His phone pings, signalling an incoming text message. There’s only one person who would text him._

_J: “Where r u?”_

_He looks at his phone before looking out onto the city again. He thinks about replying, but in the end decides not to. He wouldn’t know what to say to him. He leans back against his car, looking up at the sky, the city lights too bright to be able to see the stars, but Archy knows they’re there._

_It’s hours later that he finds himself parking in front of his flat, and as he walks up the steps he freezes. Johnny is bundled up in his coat, knees drawn to his chest, asleep against Archy’s front door. A flutter goes through him at the sight and he kneels down in front of the boy._

_“John?” he asks as he gently shakes the boy. Eyelids slowly open and big brown eyes glance up at Archy. Another flutter runs through him._

_“What are you doing here, John?” he asks the shivering boy as he opens the door and pushes him inside, to where it’s warm. Archy moves past him into the living room, cranking up the heat. The boy stops just inside the room._

_“John?” Archy inquires, when the boy doesn’t answer. He turns to look at him then, and he can see tears streaming down the boy’s face. He’s startled, and instantly concerned. In all the years he’s known the boy, he’s only seen him cry twice._

_“John? What’s going on? What’s wrong?” he asks gently but urgently, cupping the boy’s face softly._

_“Y..- You’re leaving me...” comes the hiccoughed reply, as Johnny cries harder. Archy sighs, and pulls the boy into a hug. Johnny’s arms clench around him immediately, hanging on for dear life._

_“I’m not leaving you, John” he reassures him, as he continues to hold the boy. There’s a muffled reply from where Johnny has his face smushed into Archy’s shoulder, and Archy pulls away a little._

_“What was that?” he asks with a small smile. Johnny looks up at him with his big eyes._

_“You’re b-being sent up f-for four years...” sniffling, Johnny tries to stop his tears from falling._

_“I know, John. I know...” Archy sighs. He figured the boy would have a hard time dealing with it, but not_ this _hard._

_“But four years will be over before you know it” he reassures, hoping to ease the boy’s mind._

_“C-can I come visit?” Johnny asks then, wiping the snot on his hoodie sleeve as he takes a step back._

_“No, John. I don’t think that’s a good idea” Archy tells him and the look that comes to the boy damn near breaks his heart._

_“You don’t w-wanna see me?” fresh tears spill over Johnny’s cheeks, and Archy reaches out to wipe them away._

_“‘Course I do, John. I just don’t want_ you _to see_ me _in there” he tells him and Johnny seems to understand. Prison changes you. He’s seen it happen enough around him._

_“Promise you won't forget me?” Johnny asks then, and there’s a hint of humour to it, but Archy can tell the boy is sincere. He’s scared he’ll be forgotten._

_“I promise, John. Couldn’t even if I tried” he replies with a small smirk, going with humour as well. And it works as Johnny cracks a tearful smile. He wipes his nose on his sleeve again before stepping a little closer to Archy._

_“I..-” he starts and stops, looking away as though he’s changed his mind._

_“You what, John?” Archy pushes as he lifts Johnny’s face. Johnny swallows audibly before taking a deep breath._

_“I love you, Arch”_

_And the boy says it with such sincerity that the flutter flares up in Archy, and he can feel a smile come to his face, sees it reflected on the boy’s face._

_“I lov..-”_

Waking up is a slow and painful process. The first thing he notices when he does is the throbbing in his head. The second thing is the overall soreness of his body. And the third thing is the sound of conversation. He doesn’t know who it is, or what it’s about but he hears the soft murmur of voices.  
He slowly sits up, and moves to swing his legs over the side of the bed, which takes some doing. As he’s sitting there he tries to remember how he got there, but all he gets are snippets of his dream. _His memory_.

He moves to get up, and he needs a few tries. _I’m getting fucking old._ As he makes his way to the door he catches a glimpse of himself in the full length mirror, and he pauses. _Jesus fuck._

The night's events come crashing back in a wave, and if he didn’t have a headache already, he would have one now. He steps closer to the mirror, his eyes roving over his body. In the back of his mind he notices that he’s only wearing underwear, but he files that away for later. Because there’s bruises _everywhere_ , dark and angry marks. He’s also riddled in cuts, but they all seem cleaned. He gingerly prods the bandage he knows hides stitches, and he turns his head to the door as he realises one of the voices he’s heard is Eggsy’s. He snatches his robe from the back of the door, and shrugs it on - with some trouble - as he makes his way towards the voices. 

“... saw him! You saw what he did to that woman. He shot her. Without a second thought” comes Eggsy’s voice from the kitchen, strong and carrying. Merlin presses his back against the wall in the hallway, out of sight but within earshot. Eggsy’s next words are said with a much softer voice.

“You saw what he did to _me_ . The Merlin we know would never have done something like that, wouldn’t have even _thought_ of it”

Shame washes over Merlin as he hears the words and remembers his actions. How he tried to take Eggsy against his will. His stomach turns, and he gently presses a hand over it, suddenly remembering he already threw up. He casts a glance into the kitchen, but finds it cleaned.

“We all knew the role he would have to assume again”

It’s Harry who’s answered, and Merlin should have known.

“I’d just hoped it wouldn’t get this far again” 

There’s a silence then, some scraping of chairs and Merlin is quite sure he can hear water pouring. _Tea._

“He mentioned something...” Eggsy says, trailing off, sounding unsure.

“He lost himself in the last mission. Chester had been his handler, and he wouldn’t pull him out, for the sake of the mission. It broke him in more ways than I can say. He _still_ won’t tell me everything that’s happened. I think somewhere...” Harry explains, but trails of before the end, and Merlin can only imagine the look on his face.

“You think what?” Eggsy inquires.

“I think that somewhere he is ashamed of what he’s done. Of what he’s been forced to do, both then and now” Harry continues, and Merlin is somehow grateful. Grateful that his best friend understands what he doesn’t dare say.

There’s silence again and Merlin has to suppress the urge to walk into the kitchen now. He hears some shuffling and then Harry speaks again, whatever moment was shared, gone.

“I tried to find out about his… _mission_... from last night. There is not much, unfortunately. Found some footage and police files. As far as I can tell, he was sent to see about a rivaling gang. A fight ensued, obviously. The police found seven dead”

Merlin shakes his head as he remembers the fight. It had been an ambush, unfair and against the odds, but they’d won.

“Jesus...Did… Did he do _all_ that?” there’s trepidation in Eggsy’s voice, and he’s no doubt looking at the pictures.

“Not _all_ of it, I’m sure” Harry says then, sounding too unsure for Merlin’s liking and he’s sure that it does nothing to ease Eggsy’s mind.

“He’s slipping, Harry. He’s losing himself again. I mean, look at this. This is… Brutal”

Merlin heaves a sigh. Time to face the firing squad. He pushes himself off the wall and schools his features, hoping to go for a blank-just-woke-up vibe, and not give away the fact that he’d been eavesdropping.

He shuffles into the kitchen, sees that Eggsy is sitting with his back to the door, as he makes eye contact with Harry and he acts surprised to see him sitting at the kitchen table, sipping tea.

“Harry? What brings you here?” 

Eggsy spins so fast in his seat, he nearly spills his tea, and Harry’s eyes light up when he sees his dear friend standing in the doorway.

“I came to inquire about your ‘job’ from last night, wondering who could have done _that_ to _you_ ” Harry replies, his eyes darkening, gesturing to Merlin’s many injuries, which peak out between the open lapels of his robe. He hadn’t bothered tying it.

“There were more of them than of us” Merlin says, as he slowly makes his way into the kitchen, pulling out a chair next to Harry. He sinks into it with a soft groan.

“Are you okay?”

The concern in Eggsy’s voice does weird things to Merlin’s insides, and he recognizes it as a certain flutter. He looks at the young man and manages a small smile.

“I’m fine” 

“Actually...” Harry interjects and Merlin raises an eyebrow at him.

“How do _you_ know about my job?” Merlin interrupts him, genuinely intrigued _and_ wanting the focus off of him for the moment, as he slowly gets up to get a cup of tea. He needs something to settle his empty stomach.

“Well, when you _hung up_ on me last night, I tried calling you back. But you ignored me...” Harry starts, emphasising his words, and throwing a dirty look at Merlin. As Merlin moves back to his seat he _almost_ laughs.

“I called Eggsy again. But he hadn’t heard of you” he continues, and Merlin glances at Eggsy, who had apparently been looking at him, but looks away when Merlin looks at him.

“So when you came back to the flat to then _leave_ again, Eggsy called me back. I tried to find you on CCTV or any cameras but you were just… _gone_ ” Harry looks at him, with a peculiar mix of awe and irritation in his eyes. It makes for a funny look.

“I… It.. Stealth is how we work...Sometimes...” Merlin tries to explain under Harry’s blazing eyes, but it sounds weak to his own ears. He casts a glance at Eggsy again, and is pleased to see the young man _doesn’t_ look away this time.

Harry’s mobile chimes then, and he fishes it out of his pocket as he rolls his eyes.

“Must I do _everything?_ ” he mutters at the device before turning back to Merlin.

“This conversation _isn’t_ over” he says before stepping away from the table. The two men are left in a somewhat awkward silence, not really looking at each other, but also not _not._ Eggsy leans forward then.

“How many did _you_..?” Eggsy asks as he motions to the police photos, casting a quick glance at them. Merlin doesn’t have to look at them - doesn’t want to - and he shrugs, a stoic look on his face.

“Doesn’t matter” he grumbles, picking up his mug to take a sip.

“It matters to me” Eggsy says, voice soft and the look in his eyes is enough to make something in Merlin’s stomach twist. He glances at Harry - who is still on the phone, wildly articulating - and he sighs.

“Four” he manages to get out, and the sharp intake of breath from across the table makes him close his eyes and shake his head. _Shouldn’t have said that._

“Did you enjoy it?”

He slowly opens his eyes to look at Eggsy, and a look passes over Eggsy’s face when Merlin takes too long to answer.

_Did he enjoy it?_

Harry comes back to the table at that moment, and looks between the two men. They’re both still looking at each other in silence, but Harry doesn’t retake his seat.

“Much as I would like to continue the conversation, I am unfortunately needed at the Mansion. We _will_ continue it. I’ll call later in the day” the last bit is directed at Eggsy, and Harry snatches his coat from the back of his chair before he breezes out the door.

_Did he enjoy it?_

Eggsy is still looking at Merlin, doubt and confusion swimming in his eyes, and Merlin has _no_ idea what to say to the young man. The grip on his mug is whiteknuckled and he realises he’s holding his breath. Eggsy waits a moment longer before silently getting up, a troubled look in his eyes.

_Did he enjoy it?_

_Yes._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, not much progress story wise, but we're getting vibes. [and yes Egg nearly 'spilled the tea', I'm sorry, this isolation thing is hard]   
> And I promise we're gonna actually have this pairing PAIR at some point. (not sure when, this whole fic is getting away from me) but we'll get there. Promise.
> 
> Song: Dig Down by Muse

**Author's Note:**

> So, that's it for chapter one and yes, I do feel slightly guilty for what I'm gonna put Merlin through, honestly.
> 
> The fic title is a lyric from Teeth by 5 Seconds of Summer, and the chapter title is from Shake It Out by Florence + The Machine


End file.
